Private FunctionAlmost nine years to the day since they played their first show, Melbourne musical mirthmakers Private Function have announced their split.
News of the group’s breakup was shared on social media today (Thursday, December 25th), days after the band had explained the would not be holding an annual Christmas show, but would rather be holding a special event on Christmas itself.
That event took the form of a message which saw the group share a ‘present’ with their followers, with an accompanying image being a wrapped lump of coal with the words “we broke up lol” positioned above.
“Because you’ve all been such naughty children this year we’ve decided you’re all getting the present you deserve,” they wrote. “WE’RE BREAKING UP LOL.
“The last nine years have been the best time of our lives. We’ve accomplished more than we ever thought possible. And it’s all because of you helping us out.”
“Thank you so much for supporting us for almost a decade,” they continued. “We owe you everything and promise to buy you all a beer one day x”
In a story shared to her Instagram stories, bassist Milla Holland appeared to confirm the news, writing: “For 9 years we destroyed our bodies and minds, we made a lot of industry people a lot of money and saw very little ourselves. It became unsustainable as we got older and more injured.
“Cautionary tale,” she continued. “The Australian music industry is parasitic and you only get more exploited the higher up they let you.
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“That said I'm so grateful that i got to be a part of the band,” she concluded. “My best memories are from the early days playing small intimate shows. Music festivals are dogshit, corpos convinced us that we want them but they are vibe less environmental disasters.”
Private Function first formed in late 2016, releasing their Six Smokin’ Songs EP on cassette before they even played their first show (and launching the annual Private Function Christmas show tradition in the process) at Yah Yah’s in Collingwood on December 16th.
Following the arrival of their Rock In Roll EP the following year, the group would release their debut album St Anger – with its artwork and title being in honour of Metallica's divisive 2003 album – through Disdain Records in 2019.
The release of 2020's Whose Line Is It Anyway? saw the group hit the ARIA top ten – reaching No. 9 – before 2023's 370HSSV 0773H was nominated for an ARIA for Best Cover Art, thanks to its controversial scratchie cover (though no nominations arrived for its special urine-filled edition).
The band’s latest album – May’s ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ – followed on from a run of stadium shows supporting Green Day, and made headlines the world over, largely due to a special edition of the album being made to smell like actress Gwyneth Paltrow‘s vagina.
Just days ago, news broke that Private Function had been in the studio making another record. In a comment shared on Instagram, the group noted these recordings would be their swansong.
Given the band’s humorous nature and history of making outlandish statements, some fans were quick to take the news of the split with a grain of salt. However, they’ve urged their followers to catch them live while they still can, while promising there’s still a “few shows and a few surprises for you before we totally bail.”
“Our Australian tour with the Viagra Boys will be the last time you can see us play around the country so come down and party,” they wrote.
While any announcement of this magnitude from one of the country’s most memorable and irreverent punk bands should always be taken with a grain of salt, fans have come together to lament this impending break up the only way they know how – chanting the band’s enduring motto: PF STILL ON TOP.
