Old Fashion, MAGNUS & More Share Their Best Xmas Stories Ahead Of Crowbar's Footstomp Party

Brisbane-based multi-faceted music-services company Footstomp Music has been a stalwart part of the local scene for a while now, so it should come as little surprise that they've set up quite the year-ending Yuletide shindig at Crowbar this week.

With sets to come from the likes of mainstay outfit Old Fashion, stoner-jazz-rock luminaries MAGNUS, ex-Townsville outfit The Bear Hunt, nascent Gold Coast rockers Chelsea Rockwells and special guests Elko Fields, we thought it'd be cool to get into the festive spirit ahead of this week's revelry and get down to the business of talking muthafuckin' Christmas.

Unfortunately, Elko Fields weren't able to add to the narrative, though their party cohorts more than made up for it with their own accounts…

Old Fashion

"I once convinced a public bus driver that I was a famous musician on Christmas Day. After he then proceeded to say, 'Oh, yeah, I recognise you,' he took a massive detour for me and dropped me directly to my friend's front door in deeeeep suburbia. Nice guy, FYI — he had no idea who I was, few people do."

— Jonathon

MAGNUS

"Ten years on the continent and still not used to this.

Christmas here is not what it is supposed to be. It is supposed to be a family thing. Heating on 10 because it's frozen-nuts season outside, sitting around the tree and unpack that piano tie you never wanted. Remember to smile and say thank you. Make a note who gave it to you and return present sorted for next year.

Getting pissed on a boat cruising the harbour with all your work colleagues is not a family thing. It is torture. You see those people way too much already. Have your camera ready when you see them snogging each other. Will come in handy when you need someone to share your workload with. All good; sharing is the Christmas spirit.
Maybe chuck a sickie, go to the beach. Pretend the homeless guy chasing you for more money than the dollar you gave him is Santa. Plenty of reindeer on the beach as well.

But once you start believing sand is pure white snow, it’s all downhill from there.

So I do what I do best. Sit back, relax and ignore everything."

The Bear Hunt

"A good Christmas Day for us is when the whole family is still amicable and speaking to each other by the end of the day. When we 'do' Xmas, we are responsible for putting up the tree, which usually consists of a branch or some kind of stick with a bit of tinsel.

Once, Linda got real excited at her work Christmas party when everyone said, 'Let's go to the Cabaret Club!' She thought they were going to a real-deal cabaret club but turned out it to be a just another sleazy strip club."

Chelsea Rockwells

"We’ll keep everyone in this story anonymous, but one of the guys in the band went to a Christmas party last year. It was meant to be a local community, family Christmas party: One of the older neighbours, who we’ll call ‘Bob’, was dressed up as Santa, all the young kids from the area were there having fun; there was a BBQ, jumping castle and all of that.

Everyone was having a really nice, relaxing G-rated family gathering, until Bob’s wife came out to party… To give you a mental picture, Bob’s wife was an older, larger, dishevelled lady dressed in a skimpy Mrs Claus outfit, smelling of bourbon. As the evening went on, the outfit started to become even less and between her sexy dancing on Santa Bob’s lap and throwing up in the bushes, she scared all the kids and we cut the night short…

Looking forward to this year's Christmas party!"

The Footstomp Music 2016 Christmas party will be held at Crowbar this Thursday, 1 December, from 7pm. Tickets will be $10 at the door.

For more information, see the party's Facebook event page.