Cafes Slash Smashed Avo Prices So You Can Buy A House One Day

From little things big things grow, so the saying goes, and this was certainly the case for one of the biggest stories of the week: smashed avo-gate. 

In a satirical, albeit not especially LOL-worthy column in The Herald Sun last weekend, Bernard Salt, a self-appointed bastion of Baby Boomer curmudgeonliness, took aim at pesky Millenials and their hipster cafe culture. Sitting on old crates and menus written in microscopic print were among his objections, but the short sentence that sparked national outrage related to one of Australia’s most treasured breakfast staples. “I have seen young people order smashed avocado with crumbled feta on five-grain toasted bread at $22 a pop and more,” Salt observed. “I can afford to eat this for lunch because I am middle-aged and have raised my family. But how can young people afford to eat like this? Shouldn’t they be economising by eating at home? How often are they eating out? Twenty-two dollars several times a week could go towards a deposit on a house.”

Cue the internet losing its shit.

After being picked up by media heavyweights like the ABC, The Guardian, Broadsheet and Buzzfeed, Salt's comment went virally hyper-memeable. As was pointed out by many on social media, you’d have to forgo more than 10,000 plates of smashed avo on toast to afford the median house deposit in Sydney – roughly the equivalent of 200 years worth of Sunday brunches.

So, cutting out breakfast indulgences are unlikely to be the fastest route to homeownership, but that hasn’t stopped cafes in Sydney and Melbourne doing their part to help those with house buying aspirations to economise, by offering discount smashed avo.

In Melbourne:

Hawthorn Common are offering a stripped back version of their popular deluxe avocado with smoked goats curd called The Baby Boomer. For just $10 you’ll get half an avo with toast, but you’ll have to do the smashing part yourself.

In Carnegie, Left Field has introduced the Corn-tract of Sale – smashed avo with charred corn, chilli salsa and lime for just $10.

Avonomics at Mammoth in Armadale will set you back $11 for avocado with fermented chilli and charcoal coconut toast.

In Abbotsford, Little Big Sugar Salt is laying on The Retirement Plan for $10, a no-frills dish sans goats cheese.

In Sydney:

The Grounds of Alexandria are offering Home Savers Signature Avocado for $13, which features heirloom tomato, feta and pomegranate. Fancy!

In Surry Hills, The Baby Boomer at Venus Wholefoods is offering the best bargain brunch with its avocado on toast with house salsa for just $7.

At Gazebo in Elizabeth Bay, you can get smashed avo, eggs, lemon and feta on ciabatta this weekend for just $8, or $14 if you pair it with a Bloody Mary.

LOT.1 have laid on Generation X Toast: smashed avo, tomato and indulgent fior di latte on rye or multigrain for $10.

UPDATE:

Uber Eats will be delivering all smashed avo orders for free this weekend only, so you can save up for a house without ever leaving you… erm… house!