Live Review: The Bronx, High Tension, Private Function

There’s a bowl of candy at the front desk this evening to take care of our trick-or-treat needs given that it's Halloween and all. As we enter the bandroom we notice the whole place has been decked out in cobwebs, spiders and ghouls.

"This song is called White Lady Funerals," is how Private Function introduce song two. It’s wonderfully shambolic up there with much mic throwing and pogoing. Just when we're thinking this Melbourne band obviously worship Limp Bizkit, the penny drops and we realise that one band member's black bodypaint-enhanced Halloween outfit of choice is Wes Borland while the rest sport baggy threads and red caps backwards a la Fred Durst. Then Private Function cover Limp Bizkit's Break Stuff. They don’t have much stage to perform on, with equipment for tonight's other two bands set up behind them, but Private Function leave it all out there on stage and we’re well impressed. A lot of vigorous head-nodders down front know all the words and the agile lead singer obviously practices parkour in his spare time.

Many in the crowd sport Halloween dress-ups - such as Mario Bros, Donnie Darko and Bananaman - but Pennywise doing laps of the venue, solo, holding two red balloons to reveal his whereabouts is a fresh kinda hell.


We actually never wanna see High Tension minus their Halloween costumes. The only person on the planet that better encapsulates the spirit of Halloween is Alice Cooper (The Godfather Of Shock Rock). Karina Utomo prowls along the photography barrier, terrorising punters and screaming demonic incantations in their faces. Drummer Lauren Hammel is an absolute beast behind the kit. She breaks the live-beats-per-minute record and boasts enviable swing. Utomo is barely ever actually on stage, instead getting amongst her people and freaking out the security guards who try to keep her in their sights. Pennywise eventually meets his match in Utomo, who yells directly at his mask, completely unfazed and laughing in the face of coulrophobia. High Tension's latest album Purge is a bonafide masterpiece, the band's musicality is next-level in a live setting and it’s definitely their time to shine.

Enter The Bronx, all dressed as Elvis in white regalia except for lead singer Matt Caughthran who chooses a black Elvis ensemble. Giant inflatable eyeballs are thrown out and volleyed around in the crowd. It's mayhem from the get-go and Shitty Future's carnivalesque riff melts our faces. Pennywise is rocking out down there, nearly head-banging his mask off, and the sight of Bananaman crowd-surfing is pretty spesh. Caughthran distributes some candy in honour of this Halloween extravaganza. He then throws a skeleton into the mosh for a crowd-surf and punters descend on it like a wild-cat feeding frenzy; only a portion of the skeleton's torso makes its way back to Caughthran. Bones are held aloft in the crowd and this scene is more buck wild than your usual gig by The Bronx (which really is saying something). There’s definitely synchronised stage-diving going on.


Caughthran penetrates the crowd and rouses up some old-school pit antics then in comes Six Days A Week, with pummelling beats courtesy of the supreme Joey Castillo. The Bronx always bring sonic ferocity and tonight's mosh, which looks way more terrifying with Pennywise getting amongst it, resembles the ocean during a hurricane.

It's now time for the Halloween costumes to be judged and contenders flood the stage. Caughthran wanders down the line to find out who's who in the zoo and uses the audience clap-o-meter technique to determine a winner. A couple of wrestlers actually wrestle up there before one exits the stage via stage-dive. Miss Argentina (from Beetlejuice) looks the best by far, but for some reason Bananaman is the clear crowd favourite and takes out what Caughthran pronounces "the first annual Bronxoween". The prize? Bananaman gets to shave the moustache of a member of The Bronx. We can always rely on The Bronx to bring the loosest of vibes, but tonight is next-level cray.