With the information from the national census starting to be drip-fed through the media,SPA Confidential thought it was high time that we released the figures from our music census. We've been compiling it in secret using the latest phone-hacking and garbage-bin rumaging techniques, so you know you can trust us. Here's what we found:
48% of hipsters have purchased vinyl in the past six months.
23% of hipsters have purchased cassettes in the past six months.
6% of hipsters have purchased 8-track cartridges and laser discs in the past six months (for use in ironic installations).
49% of music fans are atheist.
51% of music fans are Satanists.
17 arseholes still put their religion as 'Jedi'.
86% of Pendulum fans are 'happy for the band' and 'support their decision' to disband and concentrate on Knife Party.
341 people said they would pay for VIP tickets to a festival if they had the chance to mingle with bands at the bar.
0 people said they would pay for VIP tickets to a festival if they had to mingle with members of the media at the bar.
2% of people said they discover new music via band stickers plastered around the toilets of music venues.
2% of the polled audience were bands who post their stickers in the toilets of music venues.
11% of bands believe that scractching their band name into the bonnet of a label executive's $120,000 Audi is a good way to get their attention.
14% of people think the Brisbane hardcore scene is dead.
Post-phaser-nu-dub-wave has become one of the industry's quickest growing genres, in terms of popularity. It's had a staggering 400% jump in recognition since the last music census. Four people know about it now.
Post-phaser-nu-dub-wave has also become regarded as one of the most redundant genres in the industry, with 17,512 people saying they were happy for it to die out tomorrow.
2 people found last week's SPA Confidential funny.
