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"I would just sit there at the bar, having a beer and I got some pretty funny looks, because that make-up was really intense."

"Painfully honest and undeniably human but, above all, it's also quietly hilarious"

"You wouldn't pressure a couple about anything else. You wouldn't go, 'You guys should smoke some crack'."

"I love being heckled! It rarely happens though and I can only presume it's because I sing a lot of songs and it's hard to hear heckles over the music."

AOTY? Nah, but it’s pretty good, though.

"Why can't I leave my gravestone blank and let graffiti artists determine who I was?"

"We had an older drunk guy who maybe thought he was at an art gallery?"

"In 1968 the Soviet Union sent the first tortoise into deep space. That tortoise was my dad. I work in retail but am planning a trip to space to find him and show him how tall I've gotten."

"Think Sesame Street, but with no puppets. Think Oprah, but with no cars to give away. Think a TED Talk, but with more songs about cats."