Welcome to Holey Moley Golf Club. Enjoy never leaving again.
Fortitude Valley is about to welcome a new resident to its renowned entertainment precinct in Holey Moley Golf Club, a fantastically novel and unabashedly fun spin on a classic pastime.
Set within the once-hallowed confines of the venue formerly known as Mansion (or The Rev, or whatever other name you may know it by), Holey Moley is the brainchild of Funlab, the team behind Strike Bowling Bar, and turns traditional mini-golf "into a multi-sensory labyrinth of amusing holes that'll keep you on your toes".
"We've taken the boring old concept from when we were kids and we want to bring it into the 21st century," Funlab chief operating officer Blaise Witnish told News Corp in a recent interview.
As you pass through the iron gates to the outdoor Garden Bar area and into the entryway, where a beach-themed hole titled "Friendless Summer" snakes around a nearby corner, it's immediately clear that Holey Moley is unlike any other putt-putt emporium we've ever been to (not to brag, but we've been to a few), in the best possible way.
Don't miss a beat with our FREE daily newsletter
Underneath the watchful gaze of an angel statue and a giant pink neon sign that reads "I like big putts & I cannot lie" (a phrase that also appears in the upstairs chill-out zone), a seriously inventive and infectious array of mini-golf courses lies ready for all manner of parties, and it's not hard at all to see this place becoming a swift success.
A fully stocked bar awaits punters on the right as they enter, from which the licensed venue will serve its cocktails and other boozy delights, while the main space of the floor is taken up by an eclectic and wonderful array of different holes — the back half of a car sticks out of the wall behind the entrance; clowns adorn a nearby course, while popcorn and rocking horses provide obstacles for another.
At the back of the room sits a lounge area, to put your feet up while waiting to play through or otherwise just take it easy for a spell, while on the other side sits a hole that starts off in an operational pinball machine before snaking out to a pair of stacked pool tables. (Side note: we became the first players to nail a hole-in-one on that course, a fact nobody will ever take away from us, even though, like, two people saw it happen.) Behind a nearby curtain is another room with three further holes — including the Seinfeld-referencing "These Pretzels Are Making Me Thirstee" course and a nod to the Spice Girls in "Zig-Ah Zag-Ah" — with the added challenge/fun/dimension of being located in a blacklight-lit room.
That's only the first nine, however; up top, there are even more joys to discover: the "Sweat It Out" gym-themed hole; the Alice In Wonderland course; the novelty-size Nirvana record (and obstructing crate of vinyl) that spins as you try to sink your ball on it; the hole created in tribute to The Big Lebowski's The Dude; the Twister-themed hole; "It's On Like Donkey Kong", with its wall homage to Mario's first clash with the pixelated gorilla; the final "Glory Hole" — an irreverent little course set in a bathroom replete with mannequins using the toilets — and, of course, the much-buzzed-about "Nine-Iron Throne".
There is also an upstairs chill-out zone featuring table tennis, a Skill Tester and even classic arcade game Point Blank (well, Point Blank 2, but it's basically the same game) alongside food and beverage service to ensure you're kept entertained even if you have to wait a while to get your turn on the turf.
Take a look at a gallery of sights below, and get excited for opening day this week.
Holey Moley Golf Club, on Warner Street, Fortitude Valley, opens this Thursday, 29 September.
Operating hours are from 12pm-late Monday to Friday, and 10am-late on weekends. Under-18s welcome with adult accompaniment before 5pm.
Find out more at their website and Facebook page.