The Bruce Milne appreciation society is in session at the Bus Meeting Point inside Corner Hotel's front bar and the word "LPs" is tossed around freely. This being the first tour, passengers include CEO of Music Victoria Patrick Donovan, Mary Mihelakos (The Aussie BBQ/The Age's Sticky Carpet columnist/Yah Yah's band booker) and Nick Haines, a local music promoter and longtime friend of Rowland S Howard's who spearheaded the campaign to rename a laneway (between Eildon Road and Jackson Street in St Kilda) after the legendary musician. But that's a different council district.
GTV9 studios - home to Bandstand and Hey Hey It's Saturday.
Leaps & Bounds is all about the City of Yarra. Once we've boarded the bus Ben Thompson, Music Coordinator at Corner Hotel/Northcote Social Club, gives us a brief history of the Corner. The Rolling Stones once did a secret show here and Thompson jokes that loads of big bands that got their start playing at the Corner will probably play shows here “on the way down” as well. Help, there are kids on this bus! After informing us that lots of drug deals went down in the Cherry Tree Hotel, Milne, Melbourne's very own musicologist, eyes the young'uns: "I gotta be careful what I say". He stresses that this is an interactive tour, and so passengers should feel free to shout out their own memories and contribute local knowledge. Milne tells us he recently learned that The Beatles song Rain (Paperback Writer's B-side) was written about Melbourne. The Nylex clock, which is immortalised in Paul Kelly's Leaps & Bounds, towers majestically in the distance and this bus driver does well to squeeze down Cremorne's narrow streets to show us local recording studios Sing Sing (which KISS and Lady Gaga have utilised during past visits here) and Richmond Recorders, the entirely of which Milne reveals was bugged by police at one stage because of suspected drug dealing (sorry, kids!) More to the point: imagine the audio they'd have of demos/future masterpieces by artists such as Boys Next Door and Models as well as tantis and creative discussions. When a passenger offers up The Black Match (now Royal Saxon) as a landmark that features in a Weddings, Parties, Anything song, Milne jokingly adds that finding a Weddoes song that doesn't contain a Melbourne reference could prove challenging.
A lot of onboard love for TISM is shared and then the football field from the band's famous, gimmicky interview is pointed out. The story goes that TISM insisted questions be shouted at them across the stadium. Milne mentions those non-electrical, speech-transmitting devices, made up of two tin cans and a string, were used. We also learn that 3AK used to be a rock station (their old slogan being, “Where no wrinklies fly”); Royal Oak was once The Tiger Room, where many important local post-punk bands cut their teeth pre-Seaview Ballroom; an excellent Japanese restaurant on Bridge Road called Maedaya is owned by Mach Pelican's drummer, Toshi Maeda; and Kylie Minogue owns a converted wheat silo apartment shaped like a rusty ship in Richmond.
Kylie's rusty ship shaped silo apartment.
As the mini-bus negotiates Berry Street (number 18 being the primary location for Richard Lowenstein's cult masterpiece Dogs In Space), there are requests to stop the bus for some happy snaps in front of the house. As we pose, there's time to reflect on the mad parties these walls could tell us about that we wish we were at.
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Further up Bridge Road, Milne points out Hollywood Palace – one of the only late-night Melbourne eateries back in the day for post-gig sustenance. What about Fast Eddy's on Bourke Street? (Oops, wrong council again.) Apparently Paul Kelly copped a punch inside Hollywood Palace that saw him sustain a fractured jaw and the resulting jaw wiring meant cancelling a tour. Milne speaks of "hallucinogenics" and one of the kids on board cracks up laughing. Thomas Dux Grocer stands where the Old Greek Theatre once stood and Milne tells a humorous anecdote about one of Einstürzende Neubauten's sound-desk requests: “Can I have more feedback in the shopping trolley.”
The “rock'n'roll dole office” on Victoria Street, Abbotsford gets a few laughs and Milne directs our attention to the Bakers Arms, where Dirty Three played their first gig. Cruising along Regent Street, Richmond, Milne gestures toward Moose Mastering Studio, which Gotye has used. We pause at Bakehouse Studios for refreshments and a sticky-beak. There's a mystery band playing in one of the rehearsal rooms and they sound promising. The Tote jukebox has pride of place in a nook and this is a golden photo opp. Although Milne is unsure about the existence of tunnels connecting Molly Meldrum's house to DT's Hotel on Church Street, he tells of the Tote's tunnels that helped facilitate dodgy dealings around Squizzy Taylor's era. Milne discusses the diversity of artists who book Bakehouse around Big Day Out time and stalkers make a mental note.
The iconic Tote jukebox.
Conversation on the bus gets lively along Smith Street as we compare tales of frequenting The Club and our encounters with glamorous bald doorbitch Carol Hitchcock (who flew to London to record a cover version of The Temptations' Motown classic Get Ready with hitmakers Stock Aitken & Waterman) and also appeared in Prisoner. Milne divulges the origins of Chain's song Gertrude Street Blues (1970): it's about musos en route to Collingwood Clinic to be cured of the clap. (Phew! Those under-agers disembarked at Bakehouse.) A few of us get fandom butterflies when Milne shows the whereabouts of cassette magazine Fast Forward's offices circa Brunswick Street and we're informed a popular venue bearing the nickname 'Marijuana Bar' was also in the vicinity.
Wrapping up the tour via Punt Road, we learn the patch between Victoria Street and Bridge Road housed many legends back in the day: Tracey Pew; Not Drowning, Waving; Debbie Dinosaur; and Milne himself resided in number 121 with The Go-Betweens, the house acting as location for some of the band's recognisable photo shoots. Richmond's Cricketers Arms Hotel is famous for hosting Men At Work's first gig and by the time we pass Barassi's Mountain View Hotel in Richmond, we're all gagging for a parma. Alighting from the bus outside Corner Hotel, everyone wants a piece of Milne. Once the route is nailed, and with the addition of some snippets from songs that were written in and inspired around these parts, Leaps & Bounds Music Sites Bus Tour is an experience not to be missed. “From St Kilda to Kings Cross is 13 hours on a bus,” but this edutaining tour sees three hours flash by in what seems like minutes.
