The hard news landscape can be a scary and endless pit of information and conflicting opinions. That’s why we’ve decided to wrap up some of the biggest stories of the week via tweets from some of the best.
Topics that get blown out of the water and have both sides firing on all cylinders can get somewhat grounded when a comedian, musician, actor or some other form of celebrity throws in their 140 characters.
Donald Trump
It may seem like drawing focus to US mogul and current presidential candidate Donald Trump has little relevance to the Australian politic climate, but his outlandish and controversial speeches are drawing the world’s laughter from our Prime Minister – the guy that took a bite out of an onion.
.@realDonaldTrump can I fuck your hair? I will give you $200
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) August 19, 2015
i mean @realDonaldTrump if you're so good at negotiating how come you couldn't get @DonaldTrump
— John Mulaney (@mulaney) August 20, 2015
This all ends with Donald Trump selling us a monorail and skipping town.
— Jeff Loveness (@JeffLoveness) August 20, 2015
Donald Trump would be a great president in the same ways that a grease fire would make a great babysitter.
— Rob Fee (@robfee) August 10, 2015
Ashley Madison
The Ashley Madison hack is a comedian’s wet dream – unless they subscribed to the service. The news rendered some entertaining tweets.
I don't know who Ashley Madison is, but I'm tired of hearing about her massive dump.
— Zach Braff (@zachbraff) August 19, 2015
I don't understand Ashley Madison-- every dating site is an "affair" dating site if you're married enough.
— Amir Blumenfeld (@jakeandamir) August 19, 2015
Rough week for women whose actual name is Ashley Madison.
— emily nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) August 19, 2015
Dallas Buyers Club
The Australian Federal Court dismissing Dallas Buyers Club claim for damages didn’t received nearly as much social media uproar – perhaps because people were sick of hearing about it – but there was still some gems floating around.
Calling my penis "Dallas Buyers Club payout" because it's unwelcome and much smaller than most people were expecting.
— John Johnsonson (@JohnJohnsonson) August 14, 2015
Salim Mehajer
Salim Mehajer not only clogged up the streets of Sydney, but many a social network feed. Here are some of the best tweets that floated to the top.
You've got to give Salim Mehajer some credit. Most Australian pollies wouldn't go anywhere near a helicopter at the moment. He booked four.
— Dom Knight (@domknight) August 17, 2015
The real tragedy here is not the lavish wedding, but Salim Mehajer's eyebrows pic.twitter.com/J21HFcAUUd
— ash london (@ash_london) August 17, 2015
Jared Fogle
Some pretty shocking news surfaced about former Subway spokesperson Jared Fogle during the week. Here’s how Twitter reacted.
If you think the #JaredFogle getting plenty of footlongs in prison joke is stale now, wait til your cousin posts it on Facebook in 2 days
— Eli Braden (@EliBraden) August 19, 2015
Can you imagine how bad Jared wants to stress eat right now
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) August 18, 2015
If Subway Jared was a movie director he'd be on a beach in Europe right now
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) August 19, 2015
“I love sandwiches. But more than that, I love old people porn. Real old. Like on-the-verge-of-death old people.” - Subway's next spokesman
— joe mande (@JoeMande) August 19, 2015
(*jared stands up in court*) “your honor, my crimes were large, but so were….my jeans.” (*he holds up a big pair of jeans, jury gasps*)
— Pube Goldberg (@PubeGoldberg) August 18, 2015
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