Urban Food Myths

Gum

You’re at a café, your coffee arrives and that peach flavoured Hubba Bubba’s got to go – probably under the table for the wait-staff to deal with. But consider a few facts before you surrender to the inane myth that swallowed gum will sit in your gut for seven years. Firstly, never mess with the people handling your food (they are watching, always watching) and secondly, think back to high school human biology. If something can’t be digested (i.e. gum) it’s headed straight for the exit. Sure, if you’ve decided to swallow multiple packs in one sitting, it might amalgamate into a swirling, gummy blockage in your lower intestine but it won’t take you seven years to realise that was a bad idea.

Crusts

Carbs and curly hair are a thing of the past but contrary to the lies Grandma used to spin, that’s not due to a correlation between crusts and curls – more likely ceramic hair straighteners and a fanatical widespread fear of gluten. But those lies were necessary. With the gift of foresight, did you really want to waste a good portion of the nourishment Grandma provided and paid for with the scant pension she was already struggling to stretch? Didn’t think so.

Carrots

During WWII, the British somehow conned the Nazis into thinking their secret weapon for spotting enemy planes was the humble carrot – not the Airborne Interception Radar. It’s surprising that anyone fell for it in the first place but even more so is the fact that plenty of people still rival Bugs Bunny’s carrot intake in the futile quest for 20/20 vision. Fear not, if you’ve got a life supply of carrots to get through, they can still be of use. The beta-carotene in carrots is known to build up in the system which can give your skin a healthy orange glow. Not too shabby if your career aspirations include working for Willy Wonka or joining the cast of Jersey Shore, though the latter’s colouring is more likely due to a combination of spray tans and jaundice.

What exactly is in those cans of spinach? Is it legal? And who the hell eats spinach from a can?

Watermelon seeds

Did you ever catch that episode of Rugrats when Grandpa Lou tells the babies that a watermelon will grow in their belly if they swallow the seeds, but then Chuckie accidentally swallows one so Angelica and the brood have to shrink themselves and head into his stomach to retrieve it? No? Damn shame, it was a real nail-biter that one. Spoiler alert (or not, you’ve had 20-odd years to catch up): watermelon seeds are okay to ingest; Grandpa Lou’s advice – not so much.

Spinach

When a surly, aggressive sailor with disproportionately huge forearms downs a can of spinach and instantly packs on bulk mass, a few questions come to mind. What exactly is in those cans of spinach? Is it legal? And who the hell eats spinach from a can? Thanks to a misplaced decimal point, the nutritional properties of spinach back in Popeye’s day were grossly exaggerated but let’s be real, you probably shouldn’t be taking your cues from cartoon characters anyway. Didn’t you learn anything from the Rugrats fiasco?