Band Immediately Regrets Admissions When World Doesn’t End

An Australian band have had to face an embarrassing truth this afternoon after posting all their secrets in the anticipation that the world was going to end.

Unfortunately unable to tell that while a few dumb-fucks actually believed that an ancient calendar spelt the end of civilisation, the vast majority of the human population went along with the idea only for light-hearted festive chatter and humorous internet pictures, the Sydney-based quartet took to Facebook to offer some last words to fans.

“We're sorry, but we didn't play or write any of the songs on our second album,” the band posted earlier today. “And that whole vegan thing? It was to crack into the Morrissey market and pick up chicks at the Marrickville Farmers Markets. We've always eaten KFC.”

The band's posts – which happened in quick-fire succession – shocked fans. Their posts of reply indicated both sadness and anger, but also bewilderment that these morons actually believed the world was going to end.

One post from the frontman, Tom Brabham, attracted particular criticism after he admitted he'd been unfaithful to his current girlfriend, an aspiring model that has moved to Surry Hills from Melbourne's Fitzoy to be with him. “I'm sorry,” he wrote, “but sometimes you goota do what you gotta do and when a bands (sic) on the road these things happen.”

The post shattered Tom's clean-cut image and drew criticism from fans who were quick to point out that the band had only ever toured as far as Wollongong.

Another startling admission came in relation to the frontman's 2011 visit to Los Angeles, where he embarked on a networking rampage, plastering QR codes across the city.

“I told the Madden brothers they should spend more time here," Brabham said, admitting he had bumped into the Good Charlotte members in the men's bathroom at the Viper Room. "For that, I am truly sorry and feel I must repent."

After the apocalypse failed to wipe the human race from the face of the earth, embarrassed band members quickly deleted the posts and then – under pressure – deleted their whole account. Their planned 2013 tour, dubbed The Righteous Ones Tour – or TROT, is now in doubt.