Australia Scores Seat On GOBI Council

The Australian music industry is delighted today that the nation has been granted a seat on the all powerful Security Council for the Global Organisation For Beat Interrogation - or GOBI. GOBI is the international body that oversees the use of beat-based music for the interrogation of prisoners. After a hard fought week of lobbying, which included an estimated $10 million in bribes and $3 million worth of Underbelly soundtracks, the news filtered through this morning that Australia had received a 70 percent approval vote from members of the organisation.

An overjoyed Tom Brabham, who was recently appointed head of the Australia delegation, told SPA Confidential today that, “This has been a long time coming and finally puts us in a position to do right by prisoners around the world.”

As part of the Security Council the Australian delegation to GOBI will now have the power of veto for all decisions that are passed through the general assembly.

“For too long prisoners have been subject to Michael Jackson and other international-based beats,” Brabham continued. “It is time for us to show the world that our own home-grown beats are just as effective for crushing souls, driving people to insanity and collective sing-a-longs. Plus, it's a whole untapped stream of revenue payments that Australians are deprived of at the moment.”

SPA Confidential actually broke the news to a delegate from one of the permanent Security Council members who replied, “Oh for fuck's sake, those fucking dingos are coming in here? They're going to veto the fuck out of everything that comes through. This is worse that adding Alan Jones to a media monitoring panel – now we'll get nothing done.”

Disclaimer: This edition of SPA Confidential was written by someone who has not attended journalism school, nor has it been proof-read or fact checked by anyone.