‘Natural’ Music Streaming Service To Replace Trees With Listening Posts

As organisations around the world scramble to launch music streaming services, an innovative new take on music consumption is set to be introduced to the Australian market in the coming weeks. An organization called Monitors Of Planet Enjoyment – or MOPEs – are set to install music listening posts along some of the nation's best-loved nature trails and hikes so bushwalkers can “drown out” the un-melodic sounds of the forest for One Direction's latest hit.

Under the plan, which has received major backing from investors keen to jump on the 'streaming boom', four trees would be replaced with 'listening posts' every 25 metres. Walkers would then be able to insert 'MOPE-Cards' – which they buy credits for in the visitor's centre – into the posts and choose from a selection of up to 50 songs covering at least three genres.

The model is the brainchild of MOPE supremo Brian Ryan – a former music industry professional – who said that “the nature-lovers of Australia have to keep up with shifting times, or risk losing everything”.

He said that, “People want to listen to music 24 hours a day, seven days a week, wherever they are and whenever they can. That's why people aren't going on bushwalks anymore or appreciating nature – it's because they can't stream the latest Coldplay single while they're doing it.”

When it was suggested that people could bring their own personal music devices if they wished, Ryan replied, “They shouldn't have to. We have to make nature as accessible for people as possible. Phase two of this plan involves moving a lot of the best bushwalking paths closer to the city – sometimes right into the main street.”

Phase two isn't all that Ryan has up his sleeve, either. Today he told SPA Confidential that he plans to insert music streaming devices into animals, such as lions, monkeys and dolphins to spice up the experience.

“This is just the beginning for MOPEs he said. We hope the slogan, 'I'm a fucking mope!' will catch on. We're confident it will.”

Broadcaster Alan Jones has signed on to be the official spokesperson for the program, which SPA Confidential believes to be so he doesn't miss out on being mentioned by another media organisation this week.