Valentine's Day is fine, we guess, but where it's really at is Palentine's Day - a day we've dubbed to celebrate all things mate-related.
We've done the hard work and planning for you - firstly, some stuff to do with your mates, secondly - how to make some mates if it's getting a little hard now that you're outside the playground, and finally - some nice ways you can pay it forward for someone else.
1. Mate Dates
Getting sick of just spending time at the pub with your BFF? Here's some activities to try out with your bestie instead.
Rock-et man
What better way to have to test your communication skills than to make sure your mate doesn't stack it? Get your exercise up and spend some quality time together by booking into your local rock climbing centre. At worst, you'll be terrible but at least you can laugh about it together.
Daytripper
Roll down the windows (by choice, not just because your AC is on the fritz) and hit the highway to visit a nearby regional centre. Not only will you get to impress with your road trip mix, you'll also be putting your cash into local communities.
Get cooked
Microwave noodles not cutting it when you go 'round for dinner? Book yourselves in for a cooking class. Not only will it be delicious, you'll also be able to not-so-humble brag and throw a dinner party for the rest of your mates.
2. How To Make Friends As An Adult
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It can be hard to meet new people as you get older. The rat race doesn’t reward softness and anyone over 25 is going be busy, bitter and suspicious. Here are some ways to breach these barriers.
Calvin & hobbies
Explore a hobby. People will put up with people they hate for years and years and years if they have a strong enough shared interest – 18 or more if that interest comes wearing diapers. You’ve probably already got your thing, now find your people. Whatever it is that tickles your fancy there’s bound to a bunch of new long-term bosom buddies lurking in that niche.
Meet cred
Accomplish a few personal goals. Being friend-fortunate is pretty similar to being lucky in love, it’s easier if you’re an interesting, engaging person to be around. If fame is the perfume of heroic deeds then having couple mates is the perfume of not being a total waster. There’s no need to conquer K2, but having more going on than ‘dank meme lord’ status is a plus.
The mate outdoors
Unless you’ve got a short driveway and a chummy postman it can difficult to meet new people without getting out of the house once in a while. There’s all kinds of places that people congregate out in the world these days. Find one, approach a likely looking group and don’t stop talking until you’re invited to brunch. Maintain unflinching eye contact throughout.
The mate-trix
If you find the outside world stressful - and you should, it’s 2019 - that’s not the end of the road. The internet is one big lonely hearts club and everyone’s a subscriber. Sign up to one of the many platonic Tinder-type apps. Join a fandom channel on Discord. Pretend you’re from out of town and CouchSurf your way into in a stranger’s loungeroom. Whatevs, the web’s your oyster.
Tray chic
Buy a ute. Everybody loves somebody with a ute. The day you start spinning those functional wheels your digits are going to be worth their numeric value in gold. Co-workers, loose associates, third through sixth cousins you haven’t seen in decades - they all gotta to move sometime and they’ll all come crawling back. Extra marks if you pack your own straps and moving pads.
Friend a hand
Volunteering combines a lot of the previous entries; finding an interest, leaving your house, getting shit done. But beyond that, spending your time helping people or causes you care about can be a pretty enriching experience in itself. Who even needs friends? Self-fulfilment and unselfish giving is where it’s really at.
Take a look
She’s All That, Clueless, Never Been Kissed, The Princess Diaries, Mean Girls, The Count Of Monte Cristo - the Western canon is full of characters improving their social standing with a fresh lick of paint. You may have to hang with a bunch of shallow backstabbers for a while, possibly becoming their leader, but at the end you’ll find one true friend who was possibly right in front of you the whole time.
Drinking buddies
If none of that works just offer to buy someone a beer. Probably not a complete stranger. More like an acquaintance - acquaintances are just friends you haven’t solicited yet. People love a beer, often to the point of not really caring who they’re having one with. Have a couple and then if you enjoyed the experience maybe try it again.
3. Thrill ‘Em With Kindness
If you didn’t know there was a Random Acts of Kindness day - don’t despair. We didn’t either and we’re still holding out hope we are somewhat decent people. Founded in 1994 in the US, although it may not have expanded to Oz just yet, it does serendipitously fall on 17 February, a few short days after Palentine’s Day. We are big fans of altruism and being kind to our pals around here, so here’s a few ideas that will hopefully have you well on your way to the Good Place.
Call your grandparents
Starting off nice and easy - when was the last time you called your grandparents for a good ol’ chinwag, huh? Oh stop it, the guilt is too much to bear. And when it literally costs you nothing but time, you’ve got to stop making excuses, man.Think how stoked they will be when they pick up the phone and realise it’s not a telemarketer.
Volunteer at an animal shelter
We love sleep around here. It’s like being dead without the commitment. A random act of kindness went viral last year when it was discovered a man was going to his local animal shelter to take naps with the special-needs cats. Look, we’re not cat people but come on, that’s adorable. We know you’re already napping at home so you literally just need to go sleep in another location. Or you know, actually volunteer.
Donate some old tennis balls to your local dog park
Dogs are the best people. It’s true, we do not deserve them. So imagine our faces when we saw a box of tennis balls at the beach with the inscription: “In Loving Memory Of Phoebe.” It urged owners to help themselves to a tennis ball for their dog to enjoy saying, “Remember to live each moment just like your dog: with unconditional love, loyalty and happiness,” and we’re not crying, you are.
Use the Ecosia search engine
Now this is pretty cool. Ecosia is a free search engine that pledges to spend 80% of its profits planting trees. Ok nerds it may not be the “best” search engine or whatever but anything that goes out of its way to help save the environment gets the big ol’ tick of approval from us. They’ve currently planted over 48 million trees across the world and finally we have some justification for all those weird searches - no, pee is not stored in the balls.
Pay for the next person’s coffee
Let’s set the scene. You walk up to your local coffee shop all bleary-eyed and hungover and the barista informs you that your coffee has already been paid for by an anonymous stranger. Now that’s the definition of sparking joy, Kondo. We know the thought of doing some good anonymously isn’t going to get you any extra Instagram followers and we’re not saying do it every day, because, well money, but imagine how good you would feel knowing you sparked joy like that even once.
Scale a building to save a kid
We don’t do things by halves around here. Probably one of the biggest random acts of kindness stories from last year was that of Mamoudou Gassama, the French Spiderman who swung in on his web to save a kid from a building. Ok, that’s not entirely how the story goes (Ecosia it) but the dude ended up gaining French citizenship because of his good deed and now he for sure has a spot lined up in the Good Place. You know what that means - get out the lycra.
This story was originally published in the February issue of The Music. Pick up a copy of it on the street now or head here to read it online.
