FLASHBACK: Descendents

“Welcome to Der Weinerschnitzel, may i take your order please?” “Yeah, I want: TWO LARGE COKES, TWO LARGE FRIES, CHILLI-CHEESE DOG, LARGE DOCTOR PEPPER, SUPER DELUXE, WITH CHEESE AND TOMATO!” ”You want bill sperm with that?“ ”NO!”

Seems too short to be a song yet too long to fill in 13 seconds, right? This is less than a taste of the excellent discography that American pop-punks DESCENDENTS have provided us with over the past few decades!

Born in LA of 1978, the Descendents entered the world as a trio consisting of Frank Navetta, Tony Lombardo and Bill Stevenson. Only releasing one EP with this particular lineup, the world was disciplined with one of the first little sips of pop-punk, through the release of the outfit’s 7”, Ride The Wild.

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Swapping members almost as fast as the duration of their tracks, the Descendents welcomed frontman Milo Aukerman in 1980. Since the addition of Aukerman, the world saw the Descendents play more as a punk band. Take note of the heaving throw of the 6 minute Fat EP; including the 18 second track, ‘I Like Food’ and the even shorter track, ‘Weinerschnitzel.’ Shout along to it with the lyrics that open this article!

You may at some point in your life have seen total rad dudes sporting the outlined character of Milo Aukerman on a t-shirt or the like. Before your eyes fixed gaze on such cottony attire, Mr. Cartoon Milo Aukerman made his first of many appearances on the cover of the band’s debut album, Milo Goes To College in 1982. Why was it named this? Because Milo went to college.

Opening with ‘Myage’, this spastic heap of raw sonic goodness that made up the debut was summed up by the Los Angeles Times as, "perfect for the little guy who was ever called a nerd and never got the girl. The Chain Saw pop combined with earthy humor conveys what is often an inarticulate rage."

During Aukerman’s endeavours studying biochemistry, drummer Bill Stevenson also broke away to join Black Flag. This caused the Descendents to crawl into a hiding hole for a few too many years, before the two members thankfully returned in 1985.

It was this same year their sophomore LP was released, I Don’t Want To Grow Up.

After self-managing and producing the next few records with their own pennies, Enjoy! and ALL, and touring a little bit, Aukerman once again found himself being a nerd and going back to study more science stuff in 1987. How much science can one person fathom anyway?

Despite Milo’s absence, 1987 also saw Descendents release their first live album, fittingly titled Liveage, as well as their first compilation Bonus Fat.

But hey, screw you Milo you big nerd! The rest of the band, who were now three quarters of the official lineup, created their little offshoot of the Descendents in which they titled themselves as ALL. But who was to sing? Dave Smalley – the former vocalist of Dag Nasty.

ALL released their first six albums in just as many years; Allroy Sez, Allroy’s Revenge, Allroy Saves, New Girl Old Story, Percolater and Breaking Things. From the years 1995 until 2004, they had also released Pummel, Mass Nerder and Live Plus One. Not detracting from the sounds of the Descendents, the pop-punk world was spoilt by the dudes, simply grasping onto more infectious tuneage.

On the side of ALL, the Descendents released their first compilation album, Two Things At Once, their second live album, Hallraker in 1989 and their second compilation record, Somery in 1991.

With the return of Milo in 1996, the Descendents were back. In this same year, the band released and toured the their LP Everything Sucks. As a continuation of this, singles ‘I’m The One’ and ‘When I Get Old’ that featured on the album were also physically celebrated as singles.

The Sessions EP was released a year later, yet was the last release for the milenium. Why? Because Milo’s a nerd.

It’s okay though, this is were ALL came in to play punk over those noisy crickets and distract people from seeing the rolling tumbleweed that seemed to linger around the dust collecting name of the Descendents!

Their third live album, which was shared with their bros ALL, was released in 2001.

Milo inevitably came back from wearing lab coats and examining microscopic matter. Descendents brought us their most political release, ‘Merican EP, as well as their latest LP Cool To Be You in 2004.

With the four dudes doing their own thing, (Milo now a molecular biologist), the Descendents still live on.

So now that we’re all up to date, I’ll have you know that Australia gets to see the Descendents play in 2013! I AM SO EXCITED.

DESCENDENTS AUSTRALIAN TOUR WITH BOUNCING SOULS, FRENZAL RHOMB, BODYJAR + SPECIAL GUESTS

Wednesday, 6th February

Eaton's Hill, Brisbane

With The Disables

Tickets at Destroy All Lines

Thursday, 7th February

Big Top @ Luna Park, Sydney

With Irrelevant

Tickets at Ticketek, Destroy All Lines and Big Top

Saturday, 9th February