Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

Sometimes low expectations can be a mediocre movie's best friend. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters arrives in cinemas with a number of strikes against it: it's been sitting on the shelf awaiting release for over a year; it has two stars whose star quality is questionable; it's titled Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, for Christ's sake. But Norwegian writer-director Tommy Wirkola – who established himself as a bargain-basement Sam Raimi with his dumb-but-fun zombie-Nazi romp Dead Snow – keeps his tale of the fairytale brother and sister (Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton, neither bringing their A-game), now adults, armed to the teeth and bounty hunting witches through a medieval world that also has machine guns (because why not?), rattling along at a brisk pace and delivering the disreputable elements the punters want. There are liberal splashings of gore, a welcome dash of nudity and at least two decent jokes as surly Hansel and feisty Gretel lay waste to various sorceresses in pursuit of the child-stealing Big Bad, played by a slumming Famke Janssen, who deserves better. Catch it at the cinema? Only if you're undemanding. Otherwise wait for the DVD and enjoy with a dose of favourite mood enhancer, a sloppy pizza and a few of your most Mystery Science Theatre 3000-savvy friends.