Seven Festival Fads We Want To See This Summer

Festivals are great and though we Australians love them we, as a nation, can't let the experience become stagnant.

It's up to us – the punters – to take the initiative of the festival experience and keep the atmosphere both cutting edge and vibrant. If you're struggling to spice up your festival day this season, maybe try to get one of the below happening by getting a few friends together and trying it out ,or by yelling suggestions fruitlessly at a band from the mosh pit.

If that doesn't work write angry letters to you local community newspaper and call your local member of parliament.

PEOPLE DRESSING UP AS CHET FAKER AND LORDE

Beard essential, orange juice optional

Forget superheroes, forget onesies, forget Aussie flags, it's time to change the national festival attire to something more tasteful. On this year's festival fashion catwalk we'd like to see a whole host of stick-on beards and plain grey or flannelette shirts to achieve the 'Chet Faker look', and variations on the black dress combined with brown hair dye and hair curlers to really nail the 'look of Lorde'.

Particularly keen to see merchandise stalls selling trademarked 'Lorde hair curlers' and 'Chet Faker clip-on beards' around the country, and not just at festivals they're playing.

PEOPLE DROPPING THEIR IPADS WHILE USING THEM AS A CAMERA

Hey dude with iPad, Anthrax says 'Fuck You'. Pic by Josh Groom

If you thought people taking photos on their phones was annoying, people taking photos on their fucking tablets must drive you up the wall. And no, it's not enough that people look like absolute muppets when they're doing it – we want them to drop their iPad or Samsung whatsit while they're doing it.

Sorry, it's just how we feel.

'FLUME WATCH' COLUMNS

When this bloke cuts his hair, we want to know.

Remember when the daily newspapers used to have columns dedicated to the likes of Delta Goodrem? They were great. Let's bring them back in a widespread media blitz and focus them on Flume. We want to know every time he cuts his hair, changes his favourite drink, buys a new colourful ironic t-shirt and – most importantly – what he throws out in his wheelie bin.

Not that we'd ever encourage phone hacking, but sometimes things are nesessary for the greater good.

PEOPLE GETTING TATTOOS OF FESTIVAL LOGOS

These guys should've sealed the moment with matching tatts. Pic by Cole Bennetts

We've already seen this a bit with Defqon.1, with the most devoted of fans immortalising their festival experience by inserting ink into their skin. We think it's a bloody great idea and can't wait for it to extend to other Aussie festivals. Things like 'Big Day Out Crew #14', 'Soundwave 4 Lyf' and 'We Were There: Stereosonic 13' will look great in years to come, and give you a story – or two – to tell the grandkids.

Keen to encourage the habit with tattoo stations at the bars – 'Tattoo & Beer combo just $25!'

BANDS WITH WATERPISTOLS

Super-soakers will have more power than bottles. Pic by Cole Bennetts

It can get really fucking hot at festivals over summer (Big Day Out Sydney earlier this year – holy shit!) so we want to see more acts incorporating water pistol into their set – rock bands, take note from DJs, they've had water pistol roadies for years. Lights during the day are way to hot (you can't see them anyway) and confetti is so last year (what is this, a wedding or a Grand Final?) so water pistols are really the only sensible option moving forward. Instead of crowd surfing with a mic, do it with a water pistol. Instead of smashing your guitar, smash an empty water pistol and throw bits of hard plastic into the crowd.

Cold day? Bring on paintball bruises for the first five rows.

THE ABOLITION OF THE TERM 'YOLO'

“YOLO”

Does anyone say this anymore? We hope not. All it seemed to inspire was high fives, shithouse tattoos (no where near as festival logos would be – see above) and late night drunken parkour. If it is still around, let's make a punch in the gut for anyone who says it a 'thing' until its eradicated.

Then everyone can move onto the next phrase, which we've heard is 'hunny-cee'. It's dickhead for 'hundred percent'.

POLITICAL RANTS FROM BANDS HALFWAY THROUGH THEIR HIT SINGLE

Set would've been better with a rant about university funding for Quidditch teams half way through Little Lion Man. Pic by Mat Lee

Just like how everyone's a racing expert the week of the Melbourne Cup, everyone's a bloody political expert when a Federal Election comes around. So in the wake of our most recent one, let's keep the self-righteous social media posts rolling by encouraging bands to cut from pivotal moments in their hit single to lengthy diatribes on a political topic of their choice. Fans may be confused at first, but they'll thank us later, outraged over the lack of funding for university lectures of post-modernist 17th century pottery in the scope of Dancing With The Stars episode.

Forgot why you hate Tony Abbott and were going to leave the country if he were elected? This'll give you something else to rage about!