Melbourne is about to get a whole lot funnier, as comedians from across the globe converge on the city for the annual Melbourne International Comedy Festival. There'll be more sniggers, chortles, giggles and guffaws on offer than you can shake a ruddy big stick at.

But if you're having trouble picking the shows to catch, we'll be publishing our top picks throughout the Fest. To kick off, we've selected the best of the best, the big hitters headlining this year's billing. Here are...

The Headliners

Urzila Carlson
Studies Have Shown

She's never been shy about sharing her opinions, and she's not about to stop now. This year, Carlson's taking aim at the shady world of pseudo-science, and the boffins who investigate seemingly pointless questions, like what happens to bees on cocaine, for example. As Carlson told The Music recently, "How do you even cut a line for a honeybee?! Surely that's not consensual."

From 29 Mar at Forum Theatre

Rhys Nicholson
Seminal

Aussie comedy's most delightful millennial gadfly returns with his latest hour of stand-up, and once again, he's mining the queer quirks of his fabulous life for comedy that will leave you gasping for air. Expect delicious lisps, saucy shenanigans, and wall-to-wall LOLs by the seminal bucket-load. *giggle*

From 29 Mar at the Swiss Club

Alex Williamson
So Wrong, It's Wrong

It's no easy task making pedos and terrorists funny. But if anyone can do it, gosh darn it, Alex Williamson can! His toe-curling punchlines are a guilty pleasure we're happy to admit to. If you like your gags with a side of No-No-He-Di'nt, this crowd-pleasing, taboo-tickling comic is once again going where other comedians fear to tread.

Until Apr 1 at Athenaeum Theatre

Nath Valvo
Show Pony

He's a self-confessed show-off, a "show pony" if you will (see what he did there?) But Valvo's still got plenty of big questions on his mind in his latest stand-up show. Should he donate sperm? What the hell is an acai bowl? And how in the hell do you pronounce acai? These are great conundrums indeed, and add to these ponderings Valvo's two cents on the marriage equality survey, and you'll be asking yourself, 'How did I ever live without this show in my life?'

From 29 Mar at ACMI

Celia Pacquola
All Talk

Spare a thought, dear reader, for Pacquola's poor mantlepiece, which must be groaning under the weight of the shedload of comedy awards she's picked up during her stellar career, including top gongs from MICF and Edinburgh Festival. After a year away from the stand-up stage, she's finally found the time to get back to live performance, and we cannot wait to hear every syllable, consonant and glottal stop of it.

From 29 Mar at The Comedy Theatre

Zoe Coombs Marr
Bossy Bottom

In 2016, Coombs Marr slashed our sides with the awesome hilarity of her gender-bending masterpiece Trigger Warning, and picked up the coveted Barry Award in the process. Last year, she shared the love by joining forces with cabaret icons Ursula Martinez and Adrienne Truscott, creating Wild Bore, a genre-defying thesis on the nature of modern critique (it was way funnier than we're making it sound). 2018 sees this genius of Australia's comedy scene make her return to stand-up, albeit with a very different show to the award-winning character comedy of her last solo outing. Expect Coombs Marr playing nothing but Coombs Marr.

From 29 Mar at Melbourne Town Hall

Becky Lucas
Cute Funny Smart Sexy Beautiful

Easily one of the most exciting and hard grafting talents in Aussie comedy, Lucas has gone from strength to strength in recent years. Gigging relentlessly on just about any stage she can find, she's honed a style of stand-up that is entirely her own, while still keeping her comedy uplifting, affirming, and of course, very bloody funny. In her latest show, as recently she told The Music, there's going to be a "higgledy-piggledy mix of filthy sex stuff and silly things about umbrellas". Shut up and take our money, we say!

From 29 Mar at Melbourne Town Hall

Damien Power
Violent Chaos Anyone?

For the past few years, Power has come within a cat's whisker of taking home the coveted Barry Award, with a string of consecutive nominations. But just because he hasn't won the gong doesn't mean he's not one of the most blisteringly talented comedians around, because trust us, he most certainly is. Politics are often the inspiration for Power's stand-up, and given the shit show that is the current geopolitical climate, you can expect there to be more than a few yarns about the sushi train of fucked-up pollies at home and abroad.

From 29 Apr at the Greek Centre

Nazeem Hussain
No Pain No Hussain

We reckon it's scientifically impossible not to be totally charmed by this cracking comic. And it seems like the rest of the world agrees with us. Since last year he's been taking his stand-up on a trot around the globe, playing to packed houses from London to China and even in the US. But now, it's time for a homecoming, and you can bet Hussain's got more than a few stories about his year of international experiences.

From 29 Mar at Forum Theatre

Anne Edmonds / Helen Bidou
No Offence, None Taken / Enter The Spinnaker Lounge

This year, Anne Edmonds is being joined on the circuit by her nut bag alter-ego, the Get Krak!n style guru Helen Bidou. So, when Edmonds isn't performing a victory lap run of last year's offering, she'll be chasing angels and dishing out beauty tips with wide-eyed, cray-cray enthusiasm. But whichever version of Edmonds you catch, be ready to laugh your sarongs off.

Helen Bidou plays from 31 Mar at Victoria Hotel
Anne Edmonds plays from 2 Apr at Melbourne Town Hall