Cap Carter: ‘I've Tried To Escape These Feelings For Years’

The Western Sydney singer, songwriter, storyteller and TikTok sensation Cap Carter makes things happen. In 2021 he announced a major label deal with Island Records Australia after his deeply personal indie&B went viral. But Carter himself secured a covetable opening slot on Teddy Swims' upcoming tour of Australia and New Zealand by directly reaching out to the American via social media.

"I went and tried to shoot my shot and just pretty much messaged him and said, 'I'd love the opportunity to be able to support you – it'd be the biggest blessing,’” Carter laughs.

The rising star was out walking when he received Teddy Swims' response. "I don't remember the last time I've ever fanboyed over someone – I don't think I ever have – but he sent through a video of him with my song Guns playing in the background. He's saying, 'My manager and I love your stuff – let's do this.' I couldn't keep a smile off my face – 'cause it was a done-deal from there… He's such a humble and open and honest human being."

Like his online persona, Carter is easygoing, genial and candid as he chats on Zoom, casually attired with a beanie. Carter has been grinding. He is currently promoting the anthemic Reasons, his first 2022 release, and preparing for a sold-out headlining tour – all while holding down a day job.

Carter's DIY philosophy recalls that of Ed Sheeran. The Brit folk-popster built a fanbase by harnessing YouTube, but Carter has latched onto the 'It' platform TikTok – amassing 238K followers. Acts such as Halsey are pushing back to label pressure to generate viral content for promotion, yet Carter has assumed "creative control", utilising his postgraduate degree in digital marketing. "At the end of the day, it's my dream, it's no one else's, you know?" he ponders. "No one's gonna work harder than myself – and I can't expect that from anyone else."

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However, behind Carter's success is a sombre story of a broken home, parental estrangement, mental health struggles, addiction and rehabilitation.

Carter was born in the Philippines but grew up in Mount Druitt in Western Sydney. When he was 10, Carter's mother left. Raised by his father, a former US Navy man, Carter's family life was dysfunctional. "My dad and I have had a really tumultuous relationship throughout the years," he sighs. Carter was gifted musically, singing at school events. But, in what became a familiar pattern, Dad "never came". "I did a degree in music and I did about three recitals – he never came," Carter continues. "I learnt that it was possibly because music reminded him of my mum. My mum was a professional DJ and she was a singer."

Ironically, Carter found solace in music, discovering artists as varied as Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchell, Kenny Rogers, Whitney Houston, 2Pac and The Notorious BIG. (Today he'll listen to "everything", but "maybe not electronic.") Carter penned his own expressive acoustic songs, that gravelly voice prominent, circulating them online. "Traditionally – and first and foremost – I'm a singer-songwriter at heart."

And, writing tracks, Carter could purge his pain – and work through his dependency issues. "I write songs about quite heavy experiences," he explains. "I write songs to feel… I believe addiction is an illness of escape. So music to me is like therapy, because it's a conduit for helping me feel and being in touch with my feelings – because I've tried to escape these feelings for the last almost 15 years."

In early 2021, Carter premiered officially on Island with Relapse – modern blues distinguished by a resounding bassline. The lyrics are harrowingly truthful, Carter ruminating on how he repressed the trauma of his parents' divorce. Carter favours intentionally pithy titles. "My old teacher in high school always said that, 'If you can't sum up your essay in a title, it's pointless,'" he says. "I like to apply that to the songs that I write."

Carter closed the year with a debut EP, Notes – taking in the subsequent singles Gold, an unguarded song about his own marriage ending, the aforementioned Guns, which honours a lost friend, and Riot, an optimistic ode to love. "Last year, when we released Notes, it was dark; it was heavy. It was like just coming into rehab and it was just trying to accept the fact that a 12-year relationship that I had was falling apart. So it was a really heavy energy behind that EP."

Encouraged by a canny label A&R, Carter also tapped into his ties to Mount Druitt, the suburb a cult hotspot with the emergence of the drill collective ONEFOUR (who, coincidentally, added R&B hooks to 2020's EP Against All Odds). "I am from Mount Druitt – I was raised in Mount Druitt, almost all my life," Carter illuminates. "At that time – and still now – there was a lot of hip hop and drill music coming out of the area. So we took some sonics from that. I really liked that idea because there's almost like a nod, a tip of the hat, to the area and where I'm from – because I do love hip hop and I do have a very strong connection with it."

Carter regularly visits Mount Druitt. "My family still live there – so there's no escaping," he jokes. "And it's not about escaping, sorry! I think, growing up, whenever we had any of the boys move out of the area, there was always this respect – 'cause it was just like, 'Well, you made it out.' It was always, yeah, just this mentality that like, 'This is somewhere we love, but we don't wanna stay here forever.' [But], whenever I think of West Sydney, I always think of home... It's home to me."

Carter's new single Reasons is a "stripped back" tune produced by Xavier Dunn (Jack River) that thematises resilience. "I spent most of last year in rehab," he volunteers. "There's six days of therapy a week for eight months – it was intense… So I come out of that now with sobriety under my belt and I'm staying clean and just the insights into my own sorta trauma and what addiction is… I really learned a lot from last year.

"[But] I was just looking for reasons to keep going, reasons to keep going with music, reasons to keep going in life; in recovery… So I got all of this out in a song that pretty much says, 'You know what, come what may, lay it on me – I'm here, I'm planting my feet, I'm grounded.' I mean, the whole chorus to Reasons is those four words: 'Lay it on me…' It's manifesting into the universe that, 'Hey, good things are to come.'"

Those "good things" are materialising. This month, Carter will embark on a national tour. He revels in performing, an EP launch in Newtown in December his inaugural live gig. Recently, Carter played a series of pop-up shows for fans, even venturing to Tasmania. "Seeing people in the room sing my songs is surreal," he extols, briefly lost for words.

Carter was thrilled to spot one particular attendee – Dad. "He came last year to a show and it was probably the most healing thing for me, for us – because I felt like I gained my dad back in one night."

Performing numbers like Relapse might require Carter to constantly relive his trauma on stage, only he's developed "perspective". "I used to have a very unhealthy relationship with writing," Carter admits. "I couldn't pinpoint whether it was healing or whether it was destructive, because I'd have to dig up old bones and really feel that all over again. It was almost self-sabotage, looking back.

"But now six days of therapy a week for eight months, committing myself to recovery, viewing the world and my life through the lens of recovery – you have to be present. You've made a commitment. I've made a commitment to stay present." And performing allows him do just that.

In the meantime, Carter is attracting global attention. In 2023 he'll head overseas, latterly initiating a crowdfunding campaign to tour the US. Already the musician has met over half of his $30K goal. "I haven't been pushing it as hard as I could have," a busy Carter confesses. He's humbled that "people are opening their wallets and opening their hearts to this project."

Carter, who's aligned with Republic Records Stateside, has so far scored a date at Hollywood's Hotel Café, where Adele once showcased – "a good luck charm," he says. Plus Carter will play a charity gig at a fabled New York venue. "There's a police officer that works in the NYPD who reached out and he's part of their events team," he shares. "He just pretty much asked me, 'How do you feel about us closing off a portion of Times Square so you can do a set?' I was like, 'I feel great!'" Indeed, Carter does.

'Reasons' is out now

If you are suffering from any of the issues that have been discussed or need assistance, please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636.