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"There are so many people who don't eat gluten now... You're just farty - get over it!"

Celebrate the best in local rap at Oaklands on Saturday

"You can parody something and it doesn't mean you're mocking it if your heart's in the right place."

"The poster is a woman in her mid-fifties in a mismatched bra and panties, and there's quite a lot of cellulite on show."

"I might be disowned by my mob and have to dodge my mum's thong when they hear some of my stories."

"I absolutely adore my mother, but mostly for her comedy value."

"We are always high energy, but this album will be our most adventurous to date."

"They'd be singing this chirpy little song about, 'Anal rape. Anal rape! La-la-la-la.' And people would be clapping along and laughing."

"If you are all complicit in a notion or idea... I imagine it's like a threesome when it works well."

"She's not being humble about it."

"I have no idea why my girlfriend puts up with me."

"If it's written well, performed well and it's funny, you can do a routine about helium depletion."