Live Review: Steel Panther

Touring internationals have been cancelling their Australian tours faster than Steel Panther guitarist Satchel's shredding of late. However, this mighty metal outfit, who last corrupted our shores as part of Soundwave 2012, are already returning for seconds. They even upgraded tonight's Melbourne venue from the Palace to Festi Hall due to an overwhelming demand for tickets (the original venue selling out in 13 minutes).

As the stage is set up for the cocksure cock rockers, the sound system pumps out choice cuts by the likes of Kiss, Mötley Crüe and Gunners to get us in the mood. Multiple, suitably garish Steel Panther banners decorate the back wall and an elaborate lighting rig promises blinding effects. “It is the future. Year 69-69…” In The Future provides the perfect intro tape and as the house lights dim, we're juiced up for gyration. There are actually so many punters dressed as hair metal heroes that you'd swear you were inside a Sunset Strip club circa 1984. As the meticulously styled foursome detonate into Supersonic Sex Machine, it's an explosion of colour and perfectly synchronised smoke canons. This could be the band's theme song (actually, the same could be said of any Steel Panther song). Frontman Michael Starr bears an uncanny resemblance to Crüe lead singer Vince Neil (fat guts and all), and man can he sustain those high notes! Satchel (Russ Parrish according to his school reports) busts out the introductory riffs for Tomorrow Night and the sound clarity is perfect, allowing us to appreciate the full comedic value in lyrics such as, “I'm gonna get some pussy/Tomorrow night/Tomo-rrow night/But tonight, I'm gonna jerk off.”

Starr helicopters a blow-up doll above his head with a finger up its ring. “Two songs in and I already fucked the shit out of that fuckin' plastic girl!” Satchel boasts after he simulates boning the doll. Pretty bassist Lexxi Foxxx constantly primps his enviable flaxen locks with the use of a pimped-out hand mirror and there's even a three-way mirror, and can of hairspray, set up on a road case for more extreme touch-ups. Drummer Stix Zadinia ain't no slouch either, ripping into his kit from high up on a lofty riser. Asian Hooker is an early highlight, with many singing along with every filthy lyric (trust Steel Panther to find a reason for rhyming “South Korea” with “Gonorrhea”).

The musicianship of all four Steel Panther band members is outstanding (as demonstrated by the snippet of ZZ Top's La Grange they play tonight). The band's combined talent propels them way past spoof territory and Starr and Satchel's bitchin' banter is always worth tuning into. Satchel's guitar solo, during which his bandmates vacate the stage, is beyond. Seen Slash ripping his axe through a medley that incorporates Love Theme From The Godfather (Speak Softly Love) during recent live sets? This is equally epic: Satchel puts the whammy bar to exceptional use during his classic guitar riff medley that includes (but is not limited to) Paranoid (Sabbath), Deep Purple's Smoke On The Water, Sweet Child Of Mine (Gunners), Do-Re-Mi (from The Sound Of Music, please believe!) and even Flight Of The Bumblebee (more often performed as a piano solo) gets a run. The guitarist also has an amazing jawline that would make him an ideal candidate for romantic lead in a Disney flick or glam-metal Ken. Steel Panther's lighting designer/operator certainly deserves acknowledgement as kaleidoscopic colour dances around the stage like intricate choreography, drawing your attention to wherever the action's taking place.

Not really thrilled about all the dry humping topless skanks up onstage and something tells me it's lucky we have balcony seats. 17 Girls In A Row concludes the three-song encore and we're still not ready to let Steel Panther go. Who will ever know why dudes dressed effeminately, acting like dicks, is so goddamn hot? Whatever. We leave the venue completely satched.