Heaps of genuine mullets (on males and females) are sighted milling around Rod Laver’s foyer. And impressively, as we take our seats, most bums are already on seats in time for James Reyne. Fall Of Rome opens, after which Reyne introduces the rockin’ Phil Ceberano on guitar. Reyne’s pronunciation has improved with age, but plus-one dad still reckons he needs subtitles. With Australian Crawl’s back catalogue on hand – Beautiful People, Downhearted and Reckless for example – it’s all killer (even if Reyne does stumble over opening verse lyrics in the latter). But it really is all about Errol (“I would give everything/Just to be like him”); sounds that accompanied our yoof, back when potential suitors’ mates would approach to announce, with a pointed jolt of the head, ‘My friend wants to go with you’. Sadly, no lighters rhythmically light up during The Boys Light Up. 

Some kinda Spaghetti Western theme song acts as Rod Stewart’s intro tape while we stare at an opaque, stage-to-ceiling curtain that conceals what we’re gagging to see. Finally, it drops and we clap eyes on Rod The Mod’s backing band. Girls outnumber dudes: seven to six. The female contingent sport matching, silver, figure-hugging, sleeveless mini dresses (which dad’s pretty happy about). The male contingent all wear three-piece suits, complete with shirts buttoned up to the last button, and ties (even drummer David Palmer!). Stewart sashays on separately. He chokes during Tonight’s The Night, grabs his Adam’s apple and hams it up. No one minds. 

This is ‘The Hits’ tour, but a few tracks from Stewart’s latest album Time (2013) get a guernsey. Can’t Stop Me Now features vintage footage of Stewart as a “teenager” on the screens. When introducing the song, Stewart commends his dad for always believing in him when record companies knocked him back due to his appearance and clothes (Lyrics: “We can’t sign you, son/’Cause you don’t fit in the mould/It’s your hair and your nose and your clothes”). Well, his profile really is ‘separated at birth’ from that of Barry Manilow. Stewart then hilariously thanks us all for coming out to help keep his kids in “shoes and pencils” (we later meet Alastair and Aiden during Sweet Little Rock‘n’Roller). The backing vocalists (whose moves could be more in synch throughout) get to show off their skills, each granted a chance to solo closing out a stirring rendition of Rhythm Of My Heart. Showing moving videos of soldiers surprising their families by coming home during this number is tearjerkingly effective.

Stewart has a costume change during Palmer’s exceptional Forever Young drum solo and comes back resembling a Logie in his gold suit. He’s very matchy-matchy with leopard skin print socks coordinating with his Creepers and a white cordless mic to match a crisp shirt in matching hue. String and harp accompaniment throughout First Cut Is The Deepest proves a masterful choice. A few toilet breaks are taken during Brighton Beach.

While introducing Faces song Stay With Me, Stewart reveals said band is having a reunion soon. During this song, endless amusement is provided as Stewart lobs and kicks soccer balls throughout the arena. And his kicks sure have a long reach, with some even reaching the upper tiers! Maggie May into Sailing is sublime. Multi-coloured balloons are released from the ceiling during closer Do Ya Think I’m Sexy? and this scribe discovers it’s awkies singing along with those chorus lyrics next to your old man. Stewart’s still got it if the amount of sexy, front-row ladies clutching the barrier and making eyes at him are anything to go by.