Why Pharrell's New Video Makes Us Sick Of His Disregard For Women

So the internet woke up this morning to a new Pharrell Williams video clip, and another opportunity for the former N*E*R*D/lover of ridiculous hats to prove just how much of a “nice guy” he is.

After all, Pharrell cried talking to Oprah about the impact his hit super fucking catchy single, Happy, had on people across the globe. That means he's sensitive, and we can all forget the not small part he played in the creation of the rape-hop anthem of 2013, Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines. 

At the very least Marilyn Monroe doesn't include any 'I know you want it's, but it does reveal a little bit more about Pharrell than he may like. Let's start with the good stuff. The women in this clip are racially diverse and all super talented. Those choreographed dance sequences are pretty much jaw-dropping. One hundred points to that. There is a distinct lack of body diversity, but baby steps, here. We're taking it slow.

But in all the video clip just feels like standard hip hop/pop video clip fare: scantily clad women in provocative poses (so many gratuitous butt shots) who are all very very good at dancing being ogled by arguably one of the biggest pop stars in the world. Pharrell spends the whole time with this glazed expression of his face like he's a kid in a candy shop and his mum's just said he can take home anything he wants. So I guess there are some Blurred Lines undertones. Because let's tell it like it is here: the women in this clip, and women in the lyrics, don't have agency. Whether or not they return Pharrell's attentions/affection is not his concern. Of course they do, women love Pharrell. Next question.

Except based on the totally non-existent facial expressions of the women depicted, they are clearly at best ambivalent to his charms, if not totally unimpressed. It might have something to do with the way he “wants a different girl” (which is just fine, polyamory can be great, so long as everyone involved is a consenting adult; but if that is not the nature of the relationship, you're making someone feel pretty insecure right about now), or the fact that he feels the need to explicitly say that he “promises not to abuse you”. In a healthy relationship, that should be a given, but Williams is just clearing up any misconceptions you might have based upon the Blurred Lines connection.

Remember, he is a “good boy” and he likes “good girls”. Except, ahem, brandishing a magic hat (and wishing really hard) and dubbing certain women good and certain women bad, like there's a certain cookie-cutter mould for a woman that's worthy of Pharrell's attentions, is total BS. What is that mould? Not Marilyn Monroe, Cleopatra or Joan Of Arc. They “don't mean nothin'” to him (die double negative die). Which may point to a problem Pharrell has with women with power and/or fame that surpasses his own, because it takes more than a big hat to make a man. A man is made out of unequal power dynamics and the use of infantalising words. “Girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl”, he says, as a substitute for actual lyrics.

But what the heck are we doing here anyway? It's a rubbish song, not necessarily because of its disregard for the women upon which it centres, but because it's entirely incoherent. Someone please explain what Kelly Osbourne's interlude MEANS and why it exists. Someone please explain how these verses aren't all from totally different songs. Someone please explain why I'm writing about a five-minute-long ballet-butt-fantasy sequence.