“I was waking up every day and not wanting to exist..."
Australian artist Melody Pool is set to feature on ABC’s Australian Story tonight where she will open up about her battle with depression.
Speaking to The Music today, the 25-year-old singer said she is "pretty nervous" about the show airing.
"It's revealing a lot of stuff that I haven’t even told my close friends," Pool said.
"It’s a bit nerve-racking that it’s going to go national."
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Pool continued, "The idea frightened me, that’s for sure.
"I was a little bit apprehensive because I value my privacy and had actively kept those things that I’ve told in the story to myself. It was really confronting to talk about them.
"But the point was that if I can at least help one person or a family member who's got somebody going through it, that’s worth it to me."
Pool’s battle began a few years back when she discovered that her boyfriend had cheated on her, leading to a drastic change in the songwriter's behaviour.
After being encouraged by her friends to see a GP, Pool was diagnosed with depression.
"I was waking up every day and not wanting to exist, pretty much," the Kurri Kurri songwriter recalled.
"I was kind of going through life like there was a sort of haze over me and everything that’s happening around me. All I could think about was when is this going to end? When am I not going to feel like this?
"Before, when I was really sick, I hid it a lot. Close friends and family would see it, obviously because they are around me more, but I was very good at hiding it and very good at downplaying it."
The documentary will also include Pool’s ex-boyfriend and fellow musician, Harry Hookey.
"We didn’t talk for about three years and at the start of last year, we caught up for a drink and reconciled," Pool said.
"He started to understand that it was a lot more then just heartbreak. It was an actual illness. We’re good mates now. He was really great about it and really open about it."
Pool added that her mental health has improved since being treated with antidepressants.
"I’m on medication for it now so I’m a lot better than I was and I’m basically a functioning human being now," she said.
"There’s still bad days, but normal humans have bad days."
Pool hopes that tonight’s documentary "de-stigmatises mental illness" and medication.
"… I think there’s a lot of stigma around medication and taking drugs to stabilise your mood," she explained.
"They probably saved my life. I think it’s really important for people to hear that there is help and you can be as helpless as possible and still come out the other side. Because I honestly never thought I would."
Looking ahead, Pool plans to take a break from music following some shows next month, including a set at Port Fairy Folk Festival.
"I'm just going to focus on me and try and get to know Melody and not just Melody Pool," she said.
"I’ve been doing this for ten years without a break and it’ll be nice to not think about it for a few months."
While she is adamant that it is by no means the end of her music career, Pool is unsure of how long the break will last.
"I’m just going to play it by ear. It could be two months and I’ll miss it, it could be a year. I have no idea."
Australian Story: Unchained Melody airs tonight on ABC and ABC iview from 8pm.