The Great Escape Part Three

Is the world parkour championships on in Brighton as well as Fringe and The Great Escape or something? There are kids jumping from impossible heights or running sideways across walls at every turn.
We also walk past a pair of discarded, inside-out black stockings - gusset facing up and complete with skiddies - in a grassy square near the library.

Concorde 2 is chockers for Velociraptor's second appearance, this time as part of the Aussie  BBQ, and the musical landscape is ready for this multi-headed beast if The Great Escape responses are anything to go by. A British geezer announces they're "screamo... but not offensive though". There's six voices onstage demanding, "I am what I am/I am, I am," so what're you gonna do? You can't be late at The Great Escape, 'cause the sets usually only go for half an hour, so sadly this reviewer only catches Velociraptor's last one-and-a- half songs (again).

Jackie Onassis far from disgrace themselves but there's a few too many "tonight"s during this daytime set, which makes the banter phoney.
And one of their songs sounds like Spit Syndicate's Beauty In The Bricks.

It's a lengthy stroll back to the Festival Hub stage to prepare for The Beards. There are a few hairless 'cleanskins' in the crowd, but the Radelaide novelty act is really well received. Song titles such as If Your Dad Doesn't Have A Beard, You've Got Two Mums get colossal laughs. The Beards will be talked about long after their hirsute forms leave this stage.

A post-set interview with two members of the band proves they actually find it difficult to talk about anything other than their beards but, man do they believe in their cause! And one of them looks identical to John Goodman.

Over to the Sticky Frog Bar (or whatever it's called - Sticky Mikes Frog Bar, actually) for another Aussie band, The Upskirts because they were bookmarked from London's Aussie BBQ at Cargo for further investigation. They love their pedal trains, but there's definitely something here. The Upskirts just need to somehow make the tunes on which the drummer sings more impactful live. "They just need to live a l'il bit," summarises a geezer on his way out.

It's high time for some international music and so to the Dome Concert Hall for To Kill A King it is. The usher laughs when he shines a torch on this scribe's ticket. It's the worst view in the house, for sure! To Kill A King boast delicious five-part harmonies and sound like Dappled Cities with their shit together. All members of tonight's headliners, Bastille, come out to guest and the crowd goes postal. Okay, Bastille singer-songwriter Dan Smith is dreamy. Audience chatter can be heard throughout To Kill A King's set though, which can't be what any band aims for. Barefoot guitarist Ian Dudfield embarrassingly unplugs himself mid-song and the band don't handle it well. Singer Ralph Pelleymounter has an engaging tone, but this British band haven't yet learned how to command the full attention of an audience this size.

Over at the NME Haunt stage, Deap Vally, a female two-piece tell  us they're playing their third set of the festival and tonight fill in for Jagwar Ma. Despite the fact that short-arses in the crowd (such as moi) would need a periscope to see them, the room's attentive. They tell us to research a UK band, and fellow two-piece, named  Drenge. This band's Walk Of Shame song is a memorable standout and it's refreshing to see two rock chicks up there looking sexy but not tarty - fashion that's similar to Peaches but slightly less 'costume'.

This room is now so rammed that it's almost impossible to squeeze your way outta there, so unfortunately Parquet Courts (or 'Parquet Flooring' as we've affectionately labelled them) will just have to be prioritised at Splendour.  If Brighton beach were comprised of sand and not pebbles, everybody would move out here permanently.