TRACK-BY-TRACK: We Explain Why Arctic Monkeys' New Album Deserves A Standing Ovation

[Please note: no lyric sheets were available at the time of review so apologies for any mondegreens. However, it just had to be said: diction is top-notch throughout this album]

This album title, Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino, hints at what one might expect from the sixth LP by Arctic Monkeys, and the listener can certainly imagine the band's frontman Alex Turner, looking suave with his slicked-back quiff, perched on the stool at a grand piano - perhaps in top hat and tails - presenting these songs in a swanky hotel foyer on the posh end of Sunset Boulevard, all nonchalant and with zero fucks to give. 

1. Star Treatment

Scattered drums, piano, wood-block accents, distant “ooh-ooh!”s and you could be forgiven for ejecting the CD (if you're not too tight to buy one) to double check the band's identity on the label. Forget everything you ever thought you knew about Arctic Monkeys. Then enter Turner, speak-singing and overenunciating to showcase that Sheffield accent: “I just wanted to be one of The Strokes, now look at the mess you made me make/Hitchhiking with a monogrammed suitcase, miles away from any half-useful imaginary highway...” Turner delivers like a rapper, but debonaire like Fred Astaire. Hang on, how old is Turner? "Maybe I was a little too wild in the '70s" - this track is obviously character-driven. And the instrumental parts are more suited to soundtrack sipping lattes than sculling Jäger - laidback. "Who ya gonna call?/The Martini police?" - fuck, yeah! What's their number? Shitloads more fun than Ghostbusters, we reckon! 

2. One Point Perspective

Plucky keys call to mind New York by Alicia Keys (yep, that’s how radically different this Arctic Monkeys album is from its predecessor, AM!) and then Turner sings, “Dancing in my underpants,” which is a little distracting. Turner definitely embraces his inner dandy on this release and calls to mind Jarvis Cocker. Percussive piano chords and understated arrangements make the lyrics pop and they're definitely worth tuning in for. Please tell me Turner and co will perform these numbers in Whisky bars, while wearing smoking jackets and smoking cigars? That even sounds like double bass! This song has a rather abrupt finish (but that might just be the advance stream?).

3. American Sports

What sound like spooky, effects-laden keys now enter the spectrum, echoing as if played inside a haunted mansion. Can't help but wonder whether there were arguments during the creation of this album, because the other band members really do seem to be backing players underscoring Turner, the artiste. The instrumental nuances make this album essential headphones listening - privately more so than in a room among chatty friends. Vocals are, uniformly, super-dreamy. 

4. Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino

The drum patterns are skittish, almost like in jazz compositions. Did we just hear Turner croon, "I'm Jesus in the day spa/Fillin' out the information form"? Gold! We definitely want these lyrics sheets. The songs would read like beat poetry penned by James Bond. Get out! Is that harpsichord? Ok, so the chorus is actually in character as Mark on reception, answering the phone at Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino: "Please tell me how I can redirect the call." 

5. Golden Trunks

Sinister opening melody that calls to mind Get Smart. Never would've dreamed that reference would slip into anything Arctic Monkeys-related, hey? Are these Golden Trunks the same undies Turner was on about dancing in a couple of tracks ago? Sorry, we digress. Gorgeous harmonies. "I fantasise about you, too" - hold up, is he reading our minds now? 

6. Four Out Of Five

"Exodus", "gentrified" - are these the kind of words you expect to hear in an Arctic Monkeys song? Turner's turn of phrase has admittedly always challenged the rock'n'roll norm, but this is chin stroker-ishly (or even head-scratchingly) baffling. There's a hip-hop flavour to Turner's vocal phrasing. 

"Only time that we stop laughin'/Is to breathe or steal a kiss/I can get you on the door for all the clubs."

This definitely feels like an album for which Turner adopts a persona or various personas throughout. The sonic cacophony that closes out Four Out Of Five sounds like the inner turmoil an artist might experience upon reading an incongruous star rating that doesn’t match the tone of a review. It's been ages since this scribe has listened so intently to lyrics for an album's entire duration. Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino is a clear vehicle for Turner. 

7. The World’s First Ever Monster Truck Front Flip

So what should we call Turner's alter ego, his Ziggy Stardust? We're definitely open to suggestions, but his working title for this album is Dark Valentine Soiree. "You push the button and we'll do the rest."

8. Science Fiction

"Not too clever for its own good" - is this entire album perhaps a little too clever for its own good?

9. She Looks Fun

Get fucked! This song's intro sounds like Jack White! She Looks Fun is one of those types of songs where the chorus sounds like it's from a completely different song, almost contrary to the verse. "Dance as if someone's watching/'Cause they are" - we see what you've done here! "I'm so full of shite/I need to spend less time/Stood around in bars/Waffling on to strangers/All about martial arts/And how much I respect them." How the hell are Arctic Monkeys gonna slot these songs into their setlist? This one demands album-in-full shows with a best-of encore, surely! 

10. Batphone

We really wanna ask Turner what music/musical eras he was inspired by when creating this set. "I launch my fragrance called Integrity... Have I told you all about the time that I got sucked into a hole through a handheld device" - I know, right? Is this a statement on how much Turner detests the narcissistic tendencies of wannabe celebrity? This reviewer seriously can't remember the last time an album was so consistently challenging - perplexed expression on dial throughout, while simultaneously wondering whether the joke's on us 'cause you're not actually supposed to 'get it'. 

11. The Ultracheese

"Dress like a fictional character/From a place they called America/In the Golden Age" - The Ultracheese is as schmoozy as Are You Lonesome Tonight? (Yep, Elvis reference in Arctic Monkeys review - who would've thunk it?), but then it breaks into a hammy, New York, New York-style midnight-signalling New Year's Eve dance: form a straight (although drunken) line across, arms behind waists, step diagonal kick, step diagonal kick. Is that how it all ends? Quite abruptly with a closing, "Ooh-woo-hoo," from Turner? We can almost see him winking, slowly about facing with a cheeky glint in his eye while removing top hat with a flourish, taking a coupla steps upstage before doing a Charlie Chaplin-inspired click your heels together mid-air jump. Cue: blackout. 

Is this album an artistic statement? Definitely. Is it a statement on the vacuous nature of modern celebrity while yearning for old-Hollywood glamour when it was still possible to maintain some element of mystery? (Elton John nailed the feeling here: "All the papers had to say/Was that Marilyn was found in the nude.") Sure seems that way. Will Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino alienate fans of Arctic Monkeys on a rockier trip? Most likely. Do we love it? Without a shadow of doubt. Standing ovation. Bravo. 

Click here to listen to the full album.