Julian Clary
"It's wonderful to be here, considering some of the shitholes I've been in," Julian Clary said, taking to the stage resplendent in a hot pink crystal-encrusted frock-coat, with faithful lesbian Bertha in the wings.
As the self-proclaimed camp comic and renowned homosexual says, middle age has "just crept up, much like a catholic priest in a public lavatory - 56 is 378 in gay years." So, having some 30 years in show business to reflect on - and mine for amusing anecdotal filth - makes for a cracking night out.
The first act hinged on a long retelling of how he saved Dame Joan Collins' life - albeit peppered with digressions. Despite first coming to the redoubtable Dame's attention with his act, The Joan Collins Fanclub, for which he attracted a cease-and-desist notice, they met years later during Panto season and as Clary puts it, "bonded over their mutual love of cock".
Among the conversational fodder were discussions of the lost, lamented Fanny the Wonderdog, his mother telling him to say 'yes' to whatever life offers, which is what led to him winning Celebrity Big Brother and a couple of benders on crystal meth. "For that, I blame my mother."
Elegant, urbane and with a wonderfully wry sense of the ridiculous, an evening with the Lord of the Mince offers treats that can be greedily devoured in the moment and those that warrant savouring in the days to follow.
