'You’ve Left Me Feeling Like I’ve Been Left Behind', Spod Is Breaking Up With Beck

Dear Beck,

I know this is hard, probably harder for me than you, but I feel like it's time we end this. We've had some incredible years together, when I first met you in the early 90s as a green young kid, looking into the abyss of my future, trying to imagine the possibilities and here you roll up, a mix between Bob Dylan, David Bowie and Kool Keith in a flanno, an acoustic guitar and a drum machine.  It took me a few days to digest it, but when I did, that was it.  I was head over heels, and couldn't even imagine what was to come. 

You wowed me with gentle lo-fi blues-folk albums, insane noise rock collections, hip hop country hybrids and, just as I had you pegged as a lo-fi rambler, you didn't stop to even contemplate baulking at making a genre redefining cut and paste masterpiece.  But even still, you go forward to create an American Rock sci-fi country album and then take Prince and R Kelly on in the electro funk/soul/sex landscape, and came out a champion.  You were an inspiration, never failing to take what was around you and shit out a gold medal. 

I remember this is about the time you were breaking up with your long term girlfriend, Leigh Limon. She was a cool chick, helped you out with a lot of stuff, and I think she might have even been your muse. But I believed you'd get yourself back up from this heartbreak, and maybe even use it to create something closer to your heart. 

You showed incredible maturity with Mutations, so I figured the future was bright.  But then I heard Sea Change.  Dude, I didn't think things got so bad for you.  I know you hooked up with Marissa Ribisi, and knowing how deep she is in Scientology kind of creeped me out, but you're a clever guy, and you grew up with that stuff and I don't care what you believe in as long as you can still express yourself. 

But something changed.  Something went cold in your heart and your eyes.  You could still create lovely music, but I just couldn't hear you in your voice anymore, like you were lost in yourself and didn't know how to get out.  But you'd find your way, surely. I believed in you that much.

But it doesn't seem like you ever did. You ran through several albums, some with interesting and excellent moments, but I never did hear that twinkle in your eye again.  Was your heart crushed that bad?  What happened between Leigh and Marissa, man?  You can tell me, honestly.  I know you don't like to talk about it, but something went down that you can't get back from. 

I haven't told you this, but I've nearly broken it off with you several times, as it just breaks my heart to have you do this time and time again.  I know that you're still in there, I can see whispers of it escape in your work, and now you have a new album for me to try and find the Beck I fell in love with again. 

Morning Phase is heralded as your Sea Change 2, so you can understand that I went in with my blaster shield down. Man, let's just say this right up front.  Are you ok?  It sounds like you're lost in a sadness that has me worried about you. Is everything ok at home? Are you getting enough sleep? Is someone bringing you down? I know you got hurt last year, but you've been withdrawn physically for nearly ten years, I just hope you're ok. 

It sounds like you've rewritten Golden Age in the first song Morning, which can make things easier if you're having a hard time, but the opening line of “You better save yourself, from something you can't see, follow it where it goes, follow it back to me” just sounds like you're being lazy.  And really mate, that “Isoooolaaaation” chant in Wave at 2:38 is just a bit of a laugh, right?  If not, I really need to see you, you sound horrifically alone and it's worrying me. You can do better than that, and that's not the only worry, there's lyrics like this all over this record.  Reoccurring themes of loneliness, being at the end of your rope and isolation, I just think we should talk about it.

But that said, your orchestration is still quite beautiful and majestic, and small string interludes Cycle and Phase are beautiful and concise compositions, Turn Away is a lovely Simon & Garfunkel tune and Unforgiven and Country Down are as close as you've come to touching the magic of Mutations since that album came out, but it all sounds a bit cold as a whole. 

Where's that lyrical magician I knew and loved? The guy who could turn the mirror back on society and laugh at his own clever contortions of the shit he'd be fed.  The guy who could wrap a concise poem in a perfect phrase of absurdist imagery?  The chord prancing prince riding a pristine white stallion of rhythm?  Has he rolled off into the distance never to return?  I really hope not, but it's been near on 14 years since you left, and I think it's time for me to move on. 

I know you've got more fans than ever, but you've left me feeling like I've been left behind, like that time Rob sold his Trans Am and bought a Toyota Camry and pretended he didn't know me when filling it up at the BP.  I also really hope you're not hanging out with that Chris Martin guy, I told you he's a bad influence on you, and don't take any more calls from Bono, the guys a phony turd.  Rise above it, you still have a chance. 

Whenever I think about you I put on an old record, and this time I put on Mutations and as it's rolling into the swelling majesty of Nobody's Fault But My Own, Lazy Flies and  progressing faultlessly into the ramshackle triumphant insanity of Diamond Bollocks, it's just really bumming me out.  That guy is gone, isn't he?  You can still write similar songs, but you're just not there, and this is my biggest problem with us, Beck.  And it's what I don't think i'll ever get over as the Beck I fell in love with is gone.

I guess like our favourite magazine says, That's Life.  I still feel sad, and even feel kind of bad for even writing this, but I guess that's just it.  You're still capable of beauty, but it's just not really beauty that's just for me anymore, it's for someone else. 

I'll always keep a piece of my heart waiting for you if you want to return, but till then thanks for some of the best years of my life...  I would say it's not you, it's me, but we know that's not the whole truth. 

Take care,

Love Spod.

You can visit Spod on Facebook, Twitter or Bandcamp.

Morning Phase is out through Capitol/EMI.