Should TISM Perform At The AFL Grand Final?

Last week, it was confirmed that Katy Perry would headline the live entertainment program at the 2024 AFL Grand Final. The announcement was met with mixed reception – some argued that Perry will do a great job to hype the crowd up, being a massive international pop star, while others argued that an Australian artist would benefit more from the exposure of such a large audience.

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So begs the question: if the AFL were to enlist an Australian act to perform at this year’s Grand Final, who should it be? Well, how about a band with multiple songs about (or at least referencing) the sport itself? How about a band like TISM?

The masked shock-rockers themselves offered “no comment” on the prospect, but in a post shared on Facebook by their management company, DRW Entertainment, it was suggested TISM would at least suit the AFL Grand Final better than Katy Perry.

Their statement reads: “We would like to point out that Katy Perry has [recorded] absolutely zero songs about Australian Rules football. TISM on the other hand have recorded The Back Upon Which Jezza Jumped, And The Ass Said To The Angel, Wanna Play Kick To Kick? (ok, admittedly this one has nothing to do with football), Father And Son with its iconic chorus, ‘Win win win, Winmar To Lockett,’ and of course the ode to the original method of streaming the game, Shut Up, The Footy’s On The Radio. Not to mention the film clip to Greg! The Stop Sign!! having been filmed at Moorabbin Oval (though we seem to have just mentioned it).”

TISM’s unnamed representative went on to note that “whilst Katy may well have kissed a girl, [TISM drummer/vocalist] Humphrey B. Flaubert once rooted a girl who rooted a guy who rooted a girl who rooted a guy who rooted a girl who rooted Shane Crawford. And if the high point of your life is six degrees of separation from an absolute Hawks legend, surely there can’t be a greater expression of love for Aussie Rules footy than that!”

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In closing, the band’s rep conceded that “Facebook whining won't get anyone anywhere”, imploring fans to petition for TISM’s involvement in the AFL Grand Final by “writ[ing] a letter to the AFL Commission”. They included the organisation’s actual mail-in address – GPO Box 1449, Melbourne VIC 3001 – as well as an email for more convenient contact (info@afleventoffice.com.au), and the suggestion that fans could even “stand out the front of their Docklands office waving a placard”.

“Remember [to] be nice,” they flagged. “No-one takes notice of abusive ratbags (mind you, it seems to have served TISM reasonably well).”

TISM have kept relatively busy since their 2022 reunion – last December they released I've Gone Hillsong, their first new single in 20 years, followed by a run of performances that included an appearance at this year’s MONA FOMA festival. In April of this year, too, they dropped a free album comprising alternate take of songs from 1992’s The Beasts Of Suburban EP.