A World Of Mondegreens: 10 Misheard Lyrics You've Been Singing For Ages

mondegreen
noun mon·de·green \ˈmän-də-ˌgrēn\
: a word or phrase that results from a mishearing of something said or sung

Many of us may not know the jargon but we know mondegreens by the common phrase, "What?! That's not what he's singing?! I've been saying it wrong all this time?!" And it's nothing to be ashamed of. Thousands of counts of misheard lyrics have been unearthed over the ages, and we have decades of musicians and the way they enunciate their words when singing to thank for it. Iconic British comedian Peter Kay, late night host Jimmy Fallon and countless others have built whole segments around the art of mishearing lyrics, so we thought we'd pass the ball around the office to see how trained our ears as music journalists are. Hint: not very. We're just as susceptible to hearing nonsensical lyrics as you are.

R Kelly — Ignition (Remix)

Actual: "Hot and fresh out the kitchen"
Misheard: "Poppin' Fresh out the kitchen"

This one should shock people because I literally just found out ol' R Kelly isn't actually singing about Poppin' Fresh, the cute little mascot for the Pillsbury Company. He even wears a chef hat! It makes so much sense!

MC Hammer — U Can't Touch This 

Actual: "You can't touch this"
Misheard: "FANTASTIC!" 

This one would be hilarious to see on a dance floor — can you imagine that awkward old guy who thinks he's cool because he knows the words to this 25-year-old song (but he doesn't really) and so he ends up yelling "FANTASTIC!" with all this gusto and people just look at him with so many questions?

Taylor Swift — Blank Space

Actual: "Got a long list of ex-lovers"
Misheard: "Got along with Starbucks lovers"

Taylor Swift herself acknowledged the mondegreen people were hearing in her mega-hit Blank Space, but personally I heard something different altogether. "Star-crossed lovers" anyone?

Duffy — Mercy

Actual: "Beggin' you for mercy" 
Misheard: "Beggin' you for birdseed"

I dunno, Duffy, you sure you don't want some birdseed? Maybe she had a hankering for some quinoa and chia seeds.

Red Hot Chili Peppers — Scar Tissue

Actual: "With the bird I'll share this lonely view"
Misheard: "With a butter shed this lonely view"

The story of a man (Anthony Kiedis) who secretes butter in the desert.

The Police — Message In A Bottle 

Actual: "A year has passed since I wrote my note"
Misheard: "A year has passed since I broke my nose"

We wish we knew whether Sting has ever broken his nose.

Queen — Bohemian Rhapsody

Actual: "Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me"
Misheard: Anything but that

Beelzebub is obviously not a word people are used to hearing, so of course there are dozens of misheard interpretations of this particular line in the song — among these "Be Heel is a tub, as the devil put aside for me", "B.L., see boob, got a devil at her side for me", and "Be as the bulb that the devil put a slide for me". 

rage against the machine — killing in the name

Actual: "Killing in the name of"
Misheard: "Chillin' in the name of"

Okay, so maybe this is just me. It's just so much more fun to sing when you're being a slob on the couch on a Friday night listening to protest songs. What? People don't do that?

Ariana Grande — Break Free

Actual: "Thought on your body, I came alive. It was lethal." 
Misheard: "Fart on your body, I came alive. It was liver." 

Sorry that you have to get through nearly three minutes of the song before you hear it, but it's worth it, promise. She's definitely not saying "lethal".

mariah carey — without you

Actual: "Can't live without you"
Misheard: "Ken Lee, tolibu dibu douchoo"

The ultimate in misheard lyrics, when you hear something so wrong you think the whole song is about a man called Ken Lee. Behold, Valentina Ivanova Hasan. Slow clap.