TOUR DIARY: Bad Food, No Sex & Competing With Marlon Wayans

1. It's been a hard couple of days in the Marlon Williams touring camp. Little sleep, bad food, no sex. A snapshot taken in a quiet moment of an early morn in a Salford pub shows a soiled Williams attempting to purge himself of the night before with hideously scented shower gels. Last night's Manchester show at the Eagle Inn was another complete flop, the locals understandably opting for the thrill of international football spectacle between Man City and Moscow over the malaise of another country music schoolboy wanking over the simplicity of C, D and G. In a shower. In a bedroom. In Manchester.

 

 

2. Back in London on a rare night off, we see Williams attempting to garnish his misery with Italian parsley. Sharing cheap, disgusting, premixed cocktails with fellow Kiwi expats is by now proving to be one of the only saving graces of what is, by all accounts, a dismally failing tour. Williams has received and ignored multiple letters from a variety of funding bodies in both Australia and New Zealand expressing withdrawal of support for current and/or future ventures, effective immediately. Good news for Australasia, bad news for Williams.

 

 

3. Finally, a brief flash of glory for our man in Dublin, Ireland. Passers-by remarked how carefree Williams seemed while posing for the photo, his expression one of pure attitude, tongue extended and hands forming street symbols reminiscent of one of his American rap heroes. One can’t help but feel a degree of happiness for the quixotic fool. The moment didn’t last of course, Williams walking in to find out that it was in fact Marlon Wayans appearing at the Academy that night, performing all his great lines from the once wildly popular Scary Movie franchise. Williams was booked for the venue next door, ‘The Irish Bar’. 

 

 

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Check out Part One of Marlon Williams' UK Tour Diary here.