Dan Condon: Sick Tunes, Splendour Special!

Splendour is upon us! I'm going, you might or might not be going (I don't really care) and all present are going to have a good time dancing to rock'n'roll music in the commercial hippie haven that is Byron Bay.

I feel I need to say a couple of things before any festival in the vain hope that at least one of them might seep through to your brain and you'll tell your friends to do the same, which in turn creates some kind of beautiful domino effect.

Firstly, and most importantly, don't be a fuckwit. I'm going to tell you right now, there will be a massive number of fuckwits at Splendour this year; guys who can't handle their piss, girls who think they're more important than everyone else and probably a few people more interested in pissing people off than actually enjoying themselves. This sociopathic behavior is surprisingly rampant at almost every festival in the country (I said almost, chill the fuck out, Aunty Meredith) and you are doing the state of live music and your fellow human beings a massive favour by not participating in it nor condoning it.

Wait in line like everyone else when waiting for a bus, or a toilet, or a can of Fanta. Don't push to the front of the stage during the first song of Bloc Party – the dedicated throng who willingly listen to their indie drivel and are excited about seeing them have likely staked out their spot for hours. Do not grope, poke, stroke or touch anyone with your filthy fucking hands and, if you start a fight, go and see a psychologist because you need help and you're nowhere near as tough as you think you are. This isn't the place to physically act out the frustration caused by daddy-issues, ex-girlfriends, repressed homosexuality or general misery with how you've turned out as a human being. This is a place to soak up music, some of it very fine, and we all deserve to be able to do that in peace.

Secondly, broaden your horizons, even if it's just once over the entire weekend. I had a surprisingly excellent time pulling some (very good) dance moves during Thievery Corporation's set at the 2011 event, despite having no interest in seeing them at any other stage in my life.

The sense of fulfillment that comes with unexpected musical discovery is magical, and there is enough hidden gold on the 2012 Splendour line up to ensure you at least get something new into your ears, whether you enjoy it or not. The people who program these bills know what they're doing; you should take their lead on a couple of chances.

You got that? No? Okay, let me make it simple:

1). Don't be a fuckwit.
2). Go and see a band you wouldn't usually watch.

Easy. Now to the music.

Hypnotic Brass Ensemble were an unexpected highlight of my 2011 Harvest Festival experience; a group of brothers (and a friend or two) playing brass band music with a slight urban bent to it sounds pretty cool and these guys were just that. The only issue I found with them (which I do with a lot of brass bands) is that the energy of their live show just hasn't translated onto record yet. Their latest release is with their old man Kelan Philip Cohran, who used to play with Sun Ra back in the day and has a number of records of his own as well. It's a little more jazzy and less party oriented than the other Hypnotic stuff, but it's pretty cool. Give it a shot.

Look, I don't know what kind of people read this blog; how old you are or what kind of music you enjoy listening to. I don't want to insult your musical intelligence by assuming that you mightn't be all that familiar with The Afghan Whigs, but they're hardly a household name. Getting them for Splendour is a serious coo for the organisers and, even though they clash with At The Drive-In, their show is one that you should really try and witness. They have barely released any new material in 14 years, but here's a Frank Ocean cover they've been doing of late that is very fucking cool.

I've gotta give credit where it's due, Lifeline are four 15-year-old kids and they're making some pretty impressive music considering their age. You can hear there are a number of improvements they could make before they really become a great band, but honestly I listen to music all day every day and this tune is better than at least half of the shit I hear. They are a North Coast NSW band who won the triple j Unearthed competition to score themselves a slot on the Splendour bill this year and if you manage to see them then you'll realise that there's a lot of talent there that could make them into a truly excellent band one day.

Here is an mp3 of Just Can't Live Like That.

Another bunch of locals who have been given a leg up courtesy of the national youth network is Wilde Child; when I heard they were surf-punk I immediately expected the trashy, bratty Nathan Williams inspired slacker pop-garage that is so hip right now (which is reflected on the Splendour bill); but I was quite surprised to hear this sounds far more influenced by '90s indie rock than the latest issue of Vice and the hot chick from the corner store's Tumblr page. I Know This Sucks was the pick for me when I first listened through their tracks; I'm confident you'll have a good time listening to it.

Brooklyn's Here We Go Magic have certainly changed a great deal since it was just Luke Temple making lo-fi ambient indie rock by himself. The band is now a full four-piece affair and one that has polished up their sound a fair bit, occasionally it sounds a little too polished on their A Different Ship record released earlier this year, but they manage to lock into that kind of kraut groove (or lack thereof) that just sucks me in something shocking each and every time. Here's the very kosmische Make Up Your Mind from that record, I'm very interested to hear how these songs go in the live setting.

Remember to tweet or email me if you hear a cool song that I can put up here. Or if you just want to give me shit about something I've said.