Live Review: The Age 2012 EG Music Awards

After opening pleasantries have been exchanged and the free drinks cleaned out, tonight's The Age EG Music Awards (this year run in conjunction with Melbourne Music Week) fires up with a barnstorming performance by fast-rising funsters The Murlocs. These Geelong boys manage to push themselves above the industry din with an excellent line in harmonica-led garage rock, warming us up for our first awards segment. On hosting duties is the ever-chipper Myf Warhurst, who is accompanied by what looks like Nikki Sixx's girlfriend on trophy-handling duties. Warhurst wins the crowd over by letting us know that she herself was once a struggling freelancer before the bright lights of Spicks And Specks beckoned. Pretty soon after that she reminds us that Spicks And Specks is no more and it's all a bit awkward. Bombay Royale are handed the Best New Talent gong and Lanie Lane is Best Female, all while poor old Courtney Barnett (who was nominated for both) stands ready onstage and watches. She responds with a typically laidback set that leaves no one in any doubt as to whether she gives a fuck or not (she doesn't).

As the night wears on and the Coopers starts to kick in, Jack White's Festival Hall extravaganza is touted as Best Tour and Oh Mercy's quantum-funk leap is acknowledged as an Outstanding Achievement. Tim Rogers is, and always will be, Best Male and he responds by letting us know that he, “fucking loves this town”. We all do by this point, especially when Ash Naylor and the regular RocKwiz orchestra (tonight billed as The EG All-Stars) start tearing into a choice selection of Best Song nominees. Starting with the eventual winner – Tame Impala's peerless psych odyssey Elephant – they are joined by the likes of Emma Russack (exhibiting her best 'Elaine' dance), Mikelangelo, Jess Cornelius, Alex Gow of Oh Mercy (who goes all Curtis Mayfield on The Bamboo's I Got Burned), Angie Hart and Ben Salter – each of them doing justice to what is a stellar list of tunes. Alpine then take out Best Album for the pristine A Is For Alpine and The Temper Trap are awarded Best Group with wannabe Mrs Sixx handing the trophy to Michael Gudinski in the band's absence (they're in a stadium somewhere discussing fireworks and lasers with Chris Martin).

Rogers then enters stage right and gives one of the all-time greatest Hall Of Fame induction speeches. It's long and wide-ranging: he constantly apologises, threatens to fuck someone's girlfriend and eventually ends by describing Weddings, Parties, Anything singer Mick Thomas's eyebrows as looking “like a tarp over an open barbeque”. The “Weddos” (past and present) are duly and deservedly inducted before what will be their final show. Thomas begins by reading a note from the cousin of departed former bassist Janine Hall and it's a nice touch as Hall and violinist Jen Anderson become the first females to join the ranks of Paul Kelly and Hoodoo Gurus in the EG Hall Of Fame. Displaying famous humility, he then announces that he's “got a gig to do” and kicks into She Works from WPA's classic debut Scorn Of The Women. At this point, the whole thing becomes less an awards night and more an emotional celebration of one of the all-time great Australian bands. The first record is played in full and the guys and gal (joined tonight by original guitarist Dave Steel) throw in as many classics as they can before the bar closes around 12.30am. Shotgun Wedding, Fathers Day and a rousing version of A Tale They Won't Believe has punters, industry types and artists alike arm-in-arm standing side of stage, on the floor and all the way up Billboard's cascading set-up. Maybe it's those damn Coopers again, but by the time they arrive at For A Short Time from 1997's Riveresque, there's not a dry eye in the house. Awards are one thing, but they're a result of smaller things. Lugging gear, writing set lists, tuning strings, sharing beers, testing a new song or revelling in an old one – these are the little moments that lead to the shared experience of being in a band. Witnessing a hard-working, much-loved outfit like Weddings, Parties, Anything share these things for the last time before they descend into discography after nearly 30 years is a humbling experience and, on a night designed to award the music industry, it feels like the ultimate prize.