Live Review: Beyoncé, Iggy Azalea

Of the various handmade signs littering the front section, one reads: “My sister's name is Beyoncé.” Apart from the diehards who have probably queued before the Rod Laver turnstiles opened, the crowd is sparse when Miami-via-Mullumbimby recording artist Iggy Azalea hits the stage. Her dishevelled platinum weave, waxy complexion and ungainly way of moving represent the polar opposite of what we expect to see from tonight's headliner. And Azalea needs to learn not to squat when wearing hotpants! Her backing dancers totally show her up, despite Azalea being in the spotlight while they're dancing in the dark, but even they look puffed out by the end of this short 25-minute set. One of Azalea's tracks sounds like it incorporates a sample from 2 Unlimited's No Limit and Work shows promise, but those who've timed their arrival to coincide with Queen B's scheduled start time miss nothing.

Just when the punters in stands are mastering the Mexican wave, the house lights dim. Crisp, artistic, beautiful video footage of Beyoncé lazing around looking sultry in Renaissance garb appears on the giant screens. Then suddenly Run The World (Girls) sees the stage stormed by fierce ladies: Beyoncé's entire ten-piece backing band is female and the only two dudes onstage are French duo Les Twins. Queen B loses an earring during this strenuous chorey but nothing could make her lose composure. Beyoncé is simply the best at everything and even outshines those impeccable backing dancers, always in towering heels us mere mortals would struggle to walk in. The Verve's Bittersweet Symphony string arrangement is a glittering update during If I Were A Boy.

Video footage with affirmations narrated by our starlet keep us entertained during the evening's many costume changes and sometimes a stage hand sweeps the stage. Even twerking looks cute when performed by Mrs Carter's dancers, whose costumes incorporate mini-bustles to eliminate the 'hoochie' factor. Last time she graced our shores Beyoncé was pre-Mrs Carter (and Blue Ivy) and you can see why she has a clothing line (House of Deréon). A lime green, leopard print, fringed mini-dress sounds tack-o-rama, right? Not so when flattering Queen B's curves. And that black sequinned cap with the cat's ears on it? Want! There are some chosen ones assembled either side of the stage and they probably all get a handshake from Her Royal B-ness throughout the show. How much did those tickets cost? BiBi McGill goes all Nikki Sixx on us during her guitar solo, with an axe that (somehow) spews sparks from both ends.

When Beyoncé flies over the crowd to the stage in the middle of GA, she wears a catsuit that appears to be covered in electric-blue Swarovski crystals and matching stilettos. Gold glitter trails her trajectory as if out of nowhere and brings out the tones in Beyoncé's trademark mermaid curls. Love On Top is vocally matchless and littered with flawless key changes, but when the mic is presented to various audience members no future stars are unveiled. When she flies back over the crowd, it's holding on with one hand while punching the air to close out Survivor (Destiny's Child). Crazy In Love is as brasstastic as one would expect and bootylicious booties bounce throughout the stadium. “The show ain't over,” promises Beyoncé, to our collective relief. Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) follows and single hands are raised to ape the “UH-oh-UH-oh-UH-oh-OH-oh” ring-brandishing gestures.

Everything onstage meticulously represents the Queen B brand and animal print prams even make an appearance during Grown Woman, which absolutely abducts our dancing vocab. Tissues are required when Beyoncé belts out I Will Always Love You (in memory of Whitney Houston), which morphs into Halo. This combo was used in memory of Michael Jackson during her last tour to similar (devastating) effect. Beyoncé spots the sign! “Your sister's named Beyoncé? How old is she? 18?” She looks thrilled. Beyoncé is one of the greats and everything she does is classy. A true ambassador for Girl Power, she's an inspiration to all. Mrs Carter is Irreplaceable.    

Final tickets are still available for all remaining Melbourne shows - Friday 25 & Saturday 26 October. Head to Ticketek for more details.