The Great Escape Powers On To Finish Strong, Despite The Bloody Queues

While we're sorting our heads out at the Airbnb, another app alert chimes to advise that Rag'n'Bone Man (Rory Charles Graham on his passport) is performing a spontaneous 'secret' midday show in Jubilee Square.

You would think we'd have learned from last night's Gorillaz fiasco, but not so. It's time to grab a quick shower in a can before hightailing it down to try our luck. Of course there's a queue — delegate passes don't necessarily always equal priority entry at The Great Escape — and so we're instructed to join it. At least we can hear plonky piano beats and some kind of rap battle going on beyond the barrier, so strain our ears to better appreciate the sounds.

Once we're finally on the desirable side of the barrier, we can't see shit (as towering a unit as Graham is!) but when punters hold up their smartphones to take shots, we can catch sneaky glimpses. It turns out this is a children's charity event. Rag'n'Bone Man raps, reading phrases from his mobile phone and swapping verses with these promising young MCs, and it's heartwarming.

Just as our stomachs begin to rumble, we remember the Aussie BBQ's on at Patterns right now and head on down there for a quick bite. We meet up with some knowledgable peeps on the venue's balcony and so quickly take notes and start planning our schedules.

Incidentally, some Australian bands not actually present at The Great Escape 2017 that we've heard British folk spruiking across the festival include Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever, Amy Shark, Julia Jacklin (who seriously seems to be on every European festival line-up this year, including Glasto, as well as some US dates and Splendour In The Grass — killing it!), The Babe Rainbow and Kirin J Callinan (who is currently supporting the mighty Mac De Marco) — great to hear! We also learn that Aldous Harding is performing on episode seven of series 50 of Later... With Jools Holland next week, together with Lorde, which is bound to launch Harding stratospheric.

Wishing to capitalise on the bright, sunny day, we cruise down Brighton Palace Pier towards Horatio's, accompanied by quality Spice Girls selections, and the Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mya and Pink version of Lady Marmalade (from Moulin Rouge!'s OST). Here we meet Australia's own Confidence Man (can this band please be called Con Man for short?). They were already on the to-do list, but moved further up on our list of priorities after a recommendation from Oasis's hairdressers (who caught them at Komedia early on Thursday).

The drummer and keys whiz commence, setting the scene in their incognito matching dark-hued beekeeper hats while dealing infectious, upbeat beats. Then on prance Janet Planet and Sugar Bones. A roar goes up and it's immediately apparent that there are some repeat offenders present who first clocked Confidence Man at one of their Thursday showcases and have returned to share this 'discovery' with their mates. Thanks to the band's two singer-dancers, it's all synchronised chorey/aerobics and sultry black-cat eyeliner from hereon. They call to mind Aqua and speak-sing much like The B-52s often do. Highlights include Boyfriend (Repeat) — which calls to mind Milkshake by Kelis and sees the band showing off some particularly vigorous dance moves (even the keyboardist joins in as best he can) — and Bubblegum. Bones strips down to black hotpants and the crowd goes bananas. Planet directs us all to squat down before commanding, "Get down!" — our cue to catapult back up and bounce. Sometimes a fun bit of froth is what's needed to stand out from the pack and this short burst of a set suits Confidence Man well.

Next up on our highly recommended list is Bahrain band Flamingods, so we head back into Brighton proper towards Komedia. Ugh, another brutal queue! Time to consult the timetable to find an act at a nearby venue that takes our fancy. We're lured to Jubilee Square for Glaswegian outfit Teen Canteen, who promise "New Order, The Ronnettes and Phil Spector" influences. When this band get older, will they need to change their band name to Meals On Wheels? (Sorry, not sorry.) We can hear their influences when we really listen hard for them — the harmonies (The Ronnettes), the riffs and guitar tuning (New Order) — but this band definitely have a way to go and we suspect their musical journey has only just begun (especially once we notice bass player Sita Pieracinni's concentrated finger placement). They're clearly having the time of their lives up there, however, and it's very cute to see a group of little girls sitting on the ground down front with their colouring books during this set.

Wandering down into the dungeon-like downstairs Patterns bandroom (which is actually so dark you can't even see five centimetres in front of your face), Geowulf are onstage. This Australian duo, comprising Star Kendrick and Toma Banjanin, adopt an easy, casual vibe that calls to mind Angus & Julia Stone. Their delivery is effortless and Saltwater drifts along all breathy and alluring.

Sampa The Great has arrived.

Now that we're here, a decision is made to remain in this venue and support Sampa The Great for round two. "I'm gonna introduce you to me through my music," Sampa Tembo explains. Before Class Trip, Tembo encourages us to listen up to the lyrics. The crowd this young rapper draws internationally on the strength of just one release (The Great Mixtape) sure is commendable. Audience involvement before and throughout Blue Boss (where we're instructed to contribute raucous "a-AH!"s incorporating a left-vs-right comp) is next-level. Tembo's inclusion of The Fugees' "Ooh La La La" sample from Fu-Gee-La is off its head (even before the drop!) and gives us insight into this artist's influences/heroes. It's all going down here at Patterns. Hearing all assembled chanting "F.E.M.A.L.E" along with Tembo is incredibly moving and her spoken-word HERoes (The Call) segment is greeted by pin-drop silence. Sampa The Great has arrived.

There's an ace feature on The Great Escape app that sees multiple outlines of mini people that turn green according to how many bodies are inside a venue at any given time (all green means a venue has reached capacity). We find this a little unreliable, however, so try our luck with The Parrots at Wagner Hall. Curses, it's actually at capacity with a considerable queue!

The Arch is yet to open, but we decide to queue there for Shock Machine to ensure we don't miss out. After asking a security guard whether there's a separate queue for delegates, he grabs some barriers and creates one — result! We are at the front of this line so getting in is a certainty. It's a shame we all need to go to the toilet or we could be front and centre for this show! The queue winds up snaking outta sight and so we're feeling pretty smug about our decision. We're first in (delegates get priority treatment at this venue) so we actually run in, hoping to get as close to the front as possible (no mean feat at The Great Escape). But our plan is disrupted by the fact that the Ladies toilets are not open yet. We race to the Men's and, boy, do these geezers crack the shits! Whatever, guys, what choice do we have?! Thankfully, there's a little bit of space by the bar and so we wedge in down the side.

Shock Machine is James Righton from Klaxons' new project and we're pretty stoked he's wearing the lush, powder-blue suit embellished with a sequinned patch of sword piercing heart and black lapels, which features in many of his promo pics. This band's sound is killer, effortlessly danceable, and Righton is an enchanting frontman. We keep a keen eye out for Keira Knightley (Righton's wife) in the audience, but have no luck with sightings; is she the inspiration for Shock Machine track Unlimited Love ("Nothing left to lose when our love's unlimited")? Righton grabs the spectacles from the noggin of a punter in the front row, tries them on and then declares with a laugh, "Oh, you're really blind! I'm sorry," before rejecting that pair and reaching for another. "This song's called Shock Machine," he intros and it's intergalactic — we can hear a smidgeon of Klaxons.

Drummer Anna Prior (from Metronomy) smiles away while offering sweet harmonies, and appears to be drumming in black ankle-socked feet. The Arch's smoky stage — so dense it would be a photographer's nightmare — makes this space seem endless, as if it stretches off into blue infinity. "Have a great Great Escape," Righton concludes before their closer, during which he totally engages with a bloke in the audience before jumping down and disappearing through the crowd with his chosen one. A totally thrilling performance. You'll wanna get around Shock Machine sharpish.

After the best lobster roll this scribe has ever eaten, from a food truck by the sea, we head back to Horatio's for Luxury Death. Their cute bio claims this boyfriend/girlfriend duo (who recruit two extra members for live performances) initially formed as "something else to do in the bedroom together". This band haven't attracted the biggest crowd (definitely no queuing required), but are really excellent. Although keyboardist Meg Williams takes centre stage, it's guitarist Ben Thompson, stage right, who pulls focus, swaying and leering with an energy not dissimilar to Oliver Sim from The xx.

But it really is all about Yellow Days, who follow on this same stage. George Van Den Broek's vocal tone is unparalleled and the closest we can get to describing it is Finley Quaye (remember that amazing Even After All song?) with a sprinkling of Tom Waits grittiness. The bass is Tame Impala-esque and this 17-year-old guy is definitely going places. The room's not rammed, but this is our number one hot tip from The Great Escape in terms of acts on the rapid rise. Totally captivating, Yellow Days will probably wind up being more famous than Ed Sheeran (if that's at all possible). The set ends and we're left completely floored.

We consult the map and try to locate Prince Albert to ... finish The Great Escape 2017 on a high. But where the fuck is it? 

After previously enjoying The Arch's vibe, we decide to return there for Icelandic singer-songwriter Asgeir. It's all a little too samey and a bit of a downer for 10pm-ish, but oh my! King And Cross is utterly shiny and glorious! Then we chat with a friendly British actor afterwards, who tells us he's set to feature in the next season of Peaky Blinders. We'll keep a look out for your mug on the small screen shall we, matey!?

Remembering a hot tip from a trusted source earlier in the day (during Yellow Days), we consult the map and try to locate Prince Albert to tick HMLTD (formerly Happy Meal LTD) off the list and finish The Great Escape 2017 on a high. But where the fuck is it? Many steep hills are climbed, time ticks on and we just can't seem to find this venue! The Stained song on The Great Escape app intrigues, NME enticingly describe the band as, "Glam-infused pop provocateurs", but we just won't make it time now that we're lost so must admit defeat.

The Great Escape is a celebration of great music for rabid music fans, and you can crack a chat with anyone without feeling as if they're looking over your shoulder for a better offer (we're looking at you, London gig-goers!). Brighton is a spectacular setting in which to host such a festival. But as for the queues? We could definitely do without them.