Five 20th Century Fox Films We Want To See On Broadway

Hollywood studio 20th Century Fox has announced a joint venture with a theatrical producer to develop up to a dozen Broadway musicals based on films in its back catalogue.

New York Times has reported that Fox has set up a Broadway division to be headed up by Kevin McCollum, producer of stage hits Rent and Avenue Q.

Fox is following in the soft-shoe footsteps of other film studios now engaging in the art of the film-to-stage adaptation. Disney, Warner Bros, MGM, Sony and Universal have delivered a variety of movie-to-stage hits from The Lion King (Disney) to Billy Elliot (Universal). Upcoming adaptions include Tim Burton's Big Fish, Diner (music by Sheryl Crow) and Rocky.

Fox have over 4,000 films in their catalogue. Already theatrical types are excitedly chattering about the likelihood of Fox properties Mrs Doubtfire and Moulin Rouge becoming musicals.

But let's not forget Fox own the rights to the Planet Of The Apes films, Star Wars and Die Hard. If any one these became a hit, there are ready-made sequels waiting in the wings - far less risky than relying on Ben Elton to whip up another untested Phantom Of The Opera sequel.

But with Planet Of The Apes already scored for its run in Springfield, we are hoping Fox will fast-track it along with a few more of these suggestions:

PLANET OF THE APES
Or, as it was known when Homer Simpson heaped praise on it in 1996, Stop The Planet Of The Apes, I Want To Get Off! Back then it starred Troy McClure and featured the ridiculously catchy Chimpan-A To Chimpan-Z plus Falco tribute Dr Zaius. If only McClure's alter ego Phil Hartman were still around to bring his rich tones to classic lines like "You finally made a monkey out of me."  Perhaps, as he was for the 2001 remake, Marky Mark is available to take on the role of "the human"- could even be some spots in the chorus for his former Funky Bunch associates.

Shark Pitt Vs Jet Norton

FIGHT CLUB
This could be as big as the stage version of Dirty Dancing. 'Young' Broadway stars Neil Patrick Harris and Sean Hayes would nail the Brad Pitt and Edward Norton roles while Megan Mullally could slip comfortably into Helena Bonham Carter's slippers. Choreographed fight sequences could pay homage to that other great salute to street violence West Side Story - finger-clicking replacing bareknuckles. Perhaps musical contributors to the original FC movie soundtrack could be coaxed into donating some compositions - surely Tom Waits and Pixies have some brawl-friendly tunes lying around. And, if audiences show a taste for Broadway blood, Fox also own Machete.

Dances with Wolverine

X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE
Hugh Jackman! The Australian all-talent can bring his two loves together at last. Wolverine can get his loner on for some global wandering, giving Jackman the chance to work in past musical hits Oklahoma and I Go To Rio. The adamantium claws being put to use as percussive accompaniment for the lupine chorus line (think Cats meets the Mighty Boosh mod wolves).  If the fans flock to this fantasy foray, Fox can follow-up with Blue Man Group in Avatar or mount a local touring version of The Phantom Menace with Rob Mills (Anankin Skywalker), Alan Jones and Bert Newton (C-3PO and R2-D2) - Jar Jar Binks appearing only in hologram form, for the actor's own safety.

The car? It's just a jump to the left...

DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR?
Two people with car troubles, aliens, a transgender stripper and a muscle dude - it's another Rocky Horror Picture Show. But can the Dude soundtrack of Ween and Young MC tunes match up to Meat Loaf's Hot Patootie - Bless My Soul? And, definitely another two-hander for Harris and Hayes as Ashton Kutcher and Sean William Scott's central stoners. If this gets them lolling in the aisles, Fox can pull out their other early '00s classic comedies Big Momma's House and Freddie Got Fingered.

Maybe being Liz Taylor got Lindsay Lohan addicted to playing '50s Hollywood icons

THE GIRL CAN'T HELP IT
Actually... how come this hasn't been done yet? The '50s rock'n'roll movie is wall-to-wall jukebox hits (Be-Bop-A-Lu-La, Cry Me A River) and the lead part (made famous by Jayne Mansfield) is the hammy kind of role that could then lead a Broadway diva to a recurring role as a sassy ex-gf in a future Chuck Lorre sit-com. But it's more likely that Lindsay Lohan would snaffle the lead in an effort to re-start her career without having to judge a TV talent quest. The inevitable standing ovations would lead Fox to dig into their Marilyn Monroe collection as vehicles for other Disney poppette comebacks; expect Bus Stop with Selena Gomez and Hilary Duff's River Of No Return.

ALSO:
The Fox catalogue could offer up William Burroughs' Naked Lunch (though replacing the talking sphincter with Little Shop Of Horrors' singing plant - Broadway is no place for assholes). Or they could outdo Bono's stunt-filled Spider-Man play with a to-scale skyscraper rooftop crashing to the stage in flames as the hero in The Towering Inferno explodes giant water tanks to a score by Axl Rose. Fox also own Aussie horse flick Phar Lap - great way to get more use out of all those discarded War Horse puppets.