ARIA Nominations Have Lost Their Way

While much of the industry has been congratulating the ARIA Awards on the amount of 'credible' artists in this year's nominations, one dissenting voice is becoming increasingly loud.

John 'Napkins' McCross – a budding music executive – attended the annual ARIA Award Nominations event earlier this week and has since expressed disgust at the direction of the awards.

“It was an absolute fuckin' joke,” he told SPA Confidential. “The room was full of bloody musicians, there was more of them than the industry blokes. Not only that, but – and you won't fuckin' believe this – but some of the peoples were female. Like, when the fuck did that happen?”

McCross says the Awards should be looking to what he describes as the golden era of the music industry and stay away from trying to “overplay the importance of the artist”.

“You know what makes great hits in this industry? Label control and awards. These bloody musicians need to be reigned in, got no idea what they're doing. And once we line up a few awards for them bobs your uncle… some people need to be reminded of way things work around here.”

McCross also expressed mild distress that his “perfectly normal” questions to award representatives about how to “secure” a number of awards for one of his artists were rebuffed.

“Fucking votes? If we can't buy awards, then this really is the end of civilisation as we know it… I mean, Christ. I had to wait until about midday to steal a bottle of sparkling off some singer,” Napkins fumed. “Who the fuck is Flume anyway? From some fucking indie label? I bet they won't even throw an afterparty – good luck trying to get into a real party! Speaking of which, I couldn't even get a fucking hit this week. No smack at all – can you believe that?!”