Julian Clary: Position Vacant Apply Within

From Clary's first mince, we're in innuendo heaven and Passion Pop makes an ideal 'sponsor'. He immediately notices a nine-year-old girl in the front row and drills the mum. Clary has such a polite persona and soothing voice that lewd one-liners gain shock value and his nonchalant delivery while covering Boyfriend (Justin Bieber) is killer. Post-intermission, Clary arrives on stage wearing stilts under metallic-hued fringed pants. Once the stilts are removed (on stage) he enters the crowd to pluck out potential husband material (with a pimped-out stun gun). Contenders are placed in Mincer's Meadow (a roped-off holding pen), there's a series of elimination rounds then the crowd decides (via applause) who we want Clary to marry. Unexpectedly, Clary closes with a sobering song about how society still has a way to go before it's deemed “cool” to be gay the world over. Spontaneity gives Clary his edge. You've missed it. You should be extremely sorry.

Her Majesty's Theatre (finished)