The Beards Reunite For Australian Tour After Nearly Ten Years

After announcing their shock reformation for this year’s Bluesfest, South Australian comedy rockers The Beards have announced a full-blown reunion tour this August and September.

The Beards discontinued their career as a touring act in 2016, eleven years after their formation. They embarked on a farewell tour in February 2016 and played their final show in October of that year at The Gov in Adelaide. In September, the band announced they’d return for a one-off performance at Bluesfest.

Known for their comedy folk-rock brand of music, The Beards have consistently played music themed around the virtues of having a beard. Crowd favourites by the band include No Beard No Good, Got Me A Beard, You Should Consider Having Sex With A Bearded Man, and If Your Dad Doesn’t Have A Beard, You’ve Got Two Mums.

Assuring fans that today’s tour announcement is not an April Fool’s joke (“The only fool is the man without a beard,” they answered a concerned comment on Instagram), The Beards begin their tour at Brisbane’s The Triffids on Friday, 29 August, before heading to Sydney’s The Metro on Saturday, 30 August, Melbourne’s Corner Hotel on Friday, 5 September, and wrapping up the run at Adelaide’s The Gov on Saturday, 6 September.

Tickets will be available at 9 am AEST on Tuesday, 8 April, via The Beards’ website. However, there’s a catch: the band has teased a mode of specially designed dynamic pricing, offering punters differing prices depending on whether or not they have a beard.

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As it’s April Fool’s Day, The Music checked to confirm if the dynamic pricing tickets would happen; we’ve been told it is real. At the time of publication, just one ticket type is listed on the event page in different cities.

Bassist Nathaniel Beard (aka Tom Bettany) explained, “If it was up to us, people without beards wouldn’t be permitted to attend our shows at all. So, I think it’s only fair that a tariff be imposed on such undesirables.”

Frontman Johann Beardraven (aka Joel McMillan) said of the tour, “We felt that after writing sixty-three original songs about beards and becoming the most important beard-related band on the planet, we’d said all we had to say on the subject. We figured it was time for us to take a well-earned break and focus on resting on our laurels.

“But it turns out that over the intervening years, our views on beards have only become more intense, rigid, and dogmatic. Hopefully, a small run of gigs in the four closest capital cities to where we currently reside will be enough for us to finally fully articulate just how much we enjoy having beards.”