SPA Confidential Special Report: An Exclusive Chat With Kevin Rudd

This week theMusic.com.au was offered a super special exclusive interview with the Prime Minister of Australia, Mr Kevin Rudd. This interview came with no strings attached – the style and content of the conversation was up to us – and was conducted in a typical room in a corporate environment.

We jumped at the opportunity of course, because we want to make sure politicians are addressing the important youth issues that affect our readers.

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Our least hardworking journo SPA Confidential took on the job of getting to the bottom of plenty of issues, with a strong focus on the controversial National Broadband Network.

SPA Confidential: Kevin Rudd, Prime Minister of Australia and all round good bloke, thanks for your time.

Kevin Rudd: Haha! My pleasure.

SPA Confidential: First things first, can we get a tip in the footy tonight?

Kevin Rudd: Well I am a proud Brisbane resident so I'd have to say Queensland, but there are certainly strengths on both sides and I'm interested in seeing a good game of rugby league.

SPA Confidential: Moving on, how shithouse is the coalition's plan for the NBN?

Kevin Rudd: There's an old Chinese saying “jǐ jiā huān xǐ jǐ jiā chóu”, which means one man's disaster is another man's delight. I truly consider their idea to be a delight, that is how bad it is.

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SPA Confidential: What are your thoughts on the youth, Mr Rudd?

Kevin Rudd: I believe the children are our future. The needs of the youth are vitally important.

SPA Confidential: Really well said.

Kevin Rudd: Thank you. I think you'll find that Tony Abbott and his coalition aren't nearly as concerned about cool youth issues as I am.

SPA Confidential: I saw today that you wrote a note to excuse a young lad from going to school today?

Kevin Rudd: Wasn't that just a great moment that showed the humanity of a good Queensland bloke like myself? We all had a good laugh. We like to laugh on the campaign trail. While addressing youth issues.

SPA Confidential: How are things out on the road these days?

Kevin Rudd: Well I wrote that note for that child, so I think that's quite obvious. We're out there for families. Of which the youth are often a part.

SPA Confidential: Yep, fair enough. Seeing as we're a music website, we'd like to know what you've been listening to of late?

Kevin Rudd: If Labor is elected at the next federal election, the youth of regional Australia will have access to hot music like the Mumford and Sons and Taylor Swift and Burzum.

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SPA Confidential: Mr Rudd, you're not answering my question.

Kevin Rudd: I'm getting to it… Under a coalition government I can't guarantee Australian families will be able to open their Spotify accounts, whereas Labor will be aiming to make premium quality streaming a breeze.

SPA Confidential: Yes, but Mr Rudd, would you please divulge your own musical preferences?

Kevin Rudd: Well I'm mainly guided by Therese and the kids, so you'd have to ask them, but I do have a soft spot for the Australia All Over CDs and the work of a young Lionel Richie.

SPA Confidential: How would those songs sound on a Labor NBN?

Kevin Rudd: Fantastic. Crystal clear.

SPA Confidential: And under the coalition's plan?

Kevin Rudd: It would sound like Cory Bernardi playing in a Skrillex tribute act.

SPA Confidential: Thanks for your time Mr Rudd.

Kevin Rudd: Cool dude!