"End this franchise. Please"
You may have seen online today that director Len Wiseman has confirmed that he and producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura are working on a sixth entry to the long-running, increasingly terrible, Die Hard series — and it's going to be a prequel.
Details are relatively scant so far, other than — as confirmed in a tweet fired off by Wiseman yesterday — the film will likely be titled Die Hard: Year One, and will follow a young, pre-Nakatomi-terror-attack John McClane as a budding street cop on the mean streets of late '70s New York, at least according to Deadline. To be honest, knowing that it's a prequel, the title and time period aren't entirely surprising, given the existence of an eight-issue, two-volume limited comic-book series of the same name and subject that was released back in 2009-10.
— len wiseman (@LenWiseman) October 15, 2015
Even less surprising is the fact that, anecdotally at least, a lot of people seem pretty pissed about the announcement. Even the reported plan to bookend the film with opening and closing scenes featuring series star Bruce Willis isn't much cause for celebration these days given what the franchise has done to the character of John McClane.
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John McTiernan's beloved 1988 original has long been considered a paragon of the action genre; a bar-setting icon of a movie that expertly enmeshed the storytelling tropes of "ordinary person does extraordinary thing" and "wrong place, wrong time, right guy" with equal parts brutality and humour. It was smart, tightly paced, brazen and fun. It was everything an action movie should be.
Die Hard elevated Willis — previously a totally unproven action star, having cut his teeth in comedy series Moonlighting — to the upper echelons of Hollywood heights, and yielded two sequels that still at least marginally resembled the original in 1990's Die Hard 2: Die Harder and 1995's Die Hard With A Vengeance.
Then came the 21st century and two further sequels, Live Free Or Die Hard and A Good Day To Die Hard, released in years not worth remembering, both of which were pretty much universally maligned for being (barely) serviceable action movies but absolutely pathetic attempts at recapturing anything close to the plucky spirit of the original Die Hard (or the original trilogy, if we're being generous).
Where McClane previously was a desperate man doing desperate things to overcome seemingly insurmountable odds (even, to an extent, in ...With A Vengeance, despite that film actually not starting out as a Die Hard story), Die Hards 4 and 5 reduced the character to indestructible murder-bot, doing ridiculous things like shooting himself through his own shoulder bullet hole to take down his man, or going on a fairly gratuitous Russian-terrorist killing spree in Moscow with his grown son.
The introduction of a sixth film into the series cannot bode well regardless of where it falls in McClane's timeline — another sequel would only serve to continue taking the ageing cop towards the ultimate point of being completely unaffected by bullets or explosives, while Deadline says this prequel promises to show "how [McClane] became a 'die hard' kind of guy", which is an absolutely idiotic thing to say because, as several folks on Twitter have pointed out, we already have that movie, and it was released in 1988.
Take it away, internet:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not make spinoff movies not make origin movies make #DIEHARD6 / the last die hard to redeem the franchise
— francisco polanco (@fco21) October 16, 2015
#DieHard6 You ask for miracles, they give you,Stupid fucking studio heads #prequel? WTF! No!No!No! #SaveDieHard #SchmoesKnow @SchmoesKnow
— Dilhan Bulegoda (@dilhanonenonly) October 16, 2015
This whole #DieHard6 thing is one of the worst ideas I've ever heard. I can't believe they're actually gonna make this crap. RIDICULOUS!!!
— Noah (@Masked_Demon) October 16, 2015
“@Hollywood_com: Fox To Make #DieHard6 As An Origin Story” Sure, all the other origin movies tanked, but this will be different!
— Dungeon DarkMaster (@FuriousDShow) October 16, 2015
A better #DieHard6 idea (1 of 3)McClane returns to LA cause @20thcenturyfox is making movie about his heroics 30 years prior.
— KG 3030 (@kg3030) October 16, 2015
A better #DieHard6 idea (2 of 3): disgruntled former @20thcenturyfox employee leads attack on studio lot. McClane must save day 1 more time
— KG 3030 (@kg3030) October 16, 2015
A better #DieHard6 idea (3 of 3): buddy cop style with younger actor playing 1988 McClane. Release in 2018 for 30th anniversary.
— KG 3030 (@kg3030) October 16, 2015
#fyi #BruceWillis #dieHard was the origin story, climatically we don't need to see anything that happened before that point! #DieHard6
— David Gagnon (@davidgagnonart) October 15, 2015
#DieHard6 is a stupid, stupid idea. We don't need an origin story for John McLane. We already have one. It's called "Die Hard 1".
— Andrew Fantasia (@AndrewFantasia) October 15, 2015
@SchmoesKnow #DieHardOrigins sounds like garbage what the hell #DieHard6 no yipeekeeyay here. But it does make me wanna scream motherf#c**r
— Tony Riney (@TRIZZLE628) October 16, 2015
Die Hard 6: Year One: Origins: Nakatomi Club: The Beginning: Yippee-Ki-WayBack! #DieHard6 pic.twitter.com/Sd44i0Bnmb
— Christopher Moriarty (@darthshatner) October 16, 2015
My Die Hard 6 pitch is basically Midnight Run: McClane travels cross country w/ Hans Gruber's son to turn him in to authorities. #DieHard6
— ReadWatchWrite (BMJ) (@RWWFilm) October 16, 2015
Well I believe the fans have spoken and #DieHard6 is a no-go flight. Keep us posted on the next useless prequel/reboot you think of.
— Nick Bosworth (@Nick_Boz) October 15, 2015
At last, the Reginald Veljohnson origin story. #DieHard6 pic.twitter.com/SvOc60nbNG
— scott neustadter (@iamthepuma) October 15, 2015
Just when you think it couldnt POSSIBLY get any worse... #DieHard6
— Snake (@_SnakePlissken) October 15, 2015
So #DieHard6 is going to be a quasi prequel, with old John McLane flashing back to his younger adventures? End this franchise. Please!
— Patrick Stephenson (@patiomensch) October 16, 2015
They're giving John McClane the prequel treatment? Why? Why not just end the series? #DieHard6
— Back_In_A_Bit (@king_ruckus) October 15, 2015
#DieHard6: "How can brand new shit happen to the same guy once?"
— The Zero (@thepeopleszero) October 15, 2015
The Die Hard franchise right now: #DieHard6 pic.twitter.com/9s0eIGXeQH
— MJ⛳️ (@MJGWrites) October 15, 2015
To be totally fair to Wiseman and co., though, at least two people out there have found the potential upside in all of this. We think.
@mrmarkmillar If Bruce Willis voices the internal monologue of young Johnny McClane the movie would double as Look Who's Talking 4 #DieHard6
— Ronald Toth (@HairyDBZ) October 15, 2015