We don't know why we care but we do...
So everyone’s favourite torture-a-D-lister TV show returns on Sunday. And for two months now the Ten Network has teased us that they are sending a ‘record-breaking’ pop star and ‘international’ DJ into the jungle for the 2016 edition of I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here.
Like everyone else, we don't know why we care but we do, so we’ve been trying to guess who the so-called ‘celebrity’ DJ and pop star might be…
But why? Taking our cue from the ads, it would seem the pop star in question is a male. So all our guesses are for male pop stars. Who better to start with than Andre. Better known in the UK than here in his home country, Andre actually did the UK version of I’m A Celeb where he met his future wife/ex-wife, Katie Price. If he’s on the lookout for a new wife, this show could be his Tinder. And who wouldn't want to Tinder in the jungle in front of thousands of Australians?
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But is he ‘record-breaking’? Well, Mysterious Girl was a hit twice in the UK, selling over a million copies. That’s something. Also, his daughter with Price has a whopping four names, so he's definitely broken a record there.
But why? His calendar is generally free until Carols season.
But is he ‘record-breaking’? When The Prayer was released in Australia on 19 December 2004 it became the fastest selling single by any Australian artist at the time. That actually is something. Callea has also broken the highest amount of teenage girls' hearts in the country, so with both of these accolades we'd say yeah, Callea's a strong contender.
But why? We just really really like the idea of seeing the former ‘70s popstar/Australian Idol judge being forced to eat live hissing cockroaches (see Freddie Flintoff in last year’s season).
But is he ‘record-breaking’? He gave away more carnations than any other singer in history (ask your grandparents).
But why? The rumours about Barnesy on the show might be way off — he did slam the rumours with a sassy "I don't do or watch those reality shows" — but maybe the wires got a little crossed and we're actually expecting Barnesy's son, David.
But is he 'record-breaking'? Well… no. Maybe for being at the top of the most mums' 'would do' list?
But why? Since Troye Sivan and Conrad Sewell hit the scene, it seems Mastin hasn't quite gotten the spotlight he's been used to for the last few years. Having to build a hut out of branches and twigs might just be the best way for Mastin to say, "remember me??!?!" without actually saying "remember me?!?!"
But is he 'record-breaking'? Good Night debuted at number one on 28 November 2011, where it remained for four non-consecutive weeks. It sold over 30,000 copies in 24 hours following its release on 22 November, and became Sony’s fastest selling digital single. On 24 November 2011, the song sold an average of one copy every 2.7 seconds.
But why? Presuming our 'record-breaking' pop star is going to end up being a dude, producers need to get some ladies into the jungle and here's where they'll probably do it. Havana Brown is young, hip and has worked with so many American superstars, she'll be the prime person to pull out a bit of wisdom from ol' Britney Spears or Rihanna at the best of times. (See: "Britney said the best way to light a fire in the forest is to use a cigarette lighter", etc.)
Are they international? Though she's born in Melbourne, Brown's got a hefty international following and spends so much time Stateside, she might tick the Ten Network's 'international' box in a relatable way.
But why? Whichever of Olivia or Miriam went into the jungle, the other could keep working on the outside. Win/win.
Are they international? Another local act who are bigger overseas than at home. Hell, they've even worked with David Guetta.
But why? The Stafford brothers have already scored themselves a reality show, so the duo aren't new to on-camera antics. You also get a two for one package deal with the guys — they could add some serious shade to the show if they team up against the others.
Are they international? The boys have relocated themselves from the Gold Coast to LA and have a solid fanbase in Europe where they sought to make their mark, so kinda?
But why? Do you even have to ask? Comedic relief. Given there's no gym, tan or laundry prospects available in the jungle, Pauly D would be the guy we all laugh at, then feel sorta sorry for.
Are they international? Pauly D is as Jersey as they come.
But why? Tiesto would be a big get, considering he makes jillions of dollars a second playing Ibiza, Ibiza, then Ibiza again, but a name as big as his would draw a lot of attention to I'm A Celeb. He also had a terrifying bad run as a host on the Australian Idol-esque DJ discovery show called Your Shot. Tiesto might still be in the mood to give reality TV another shot.
Are they international? The Dutch DJ spends all year touring clubs around the world, so very much so.