Stoner Gets 'Way Too Stoned' To Handle Stoner Rock Concert

A gig by renowned Adelaide stoner rock trio Slowburn ended badly for one punter last night when he ingested too much marijuana to be able to consciously make it through the show.

Cody Merriweather, 24, told SPA Confidential that his evening took a turn for the worse about 7.30pm when he was handed a joint by his friend Skeeter [last name withheld]. The pair had been smoking the dreaded pot for much of the afternoon through various apparatuses, including household buckets and juice bottles, cans, glass bongs, and even apples.

Merriweather experienced what is known among potheads, spliffophiles and weedbrains as "greening out", which according to underground pot-culture website The Blaze Bible is apparently not unlike "having your stomach punched by an angry plant god while it also kicks you in the chest for burning up so many of its devout followers in pursuit of altered states".

"It was horrible, man," Merriweather said from his bed this morning. "One minute, I had that, like, that warm fuzz, you know? Like I was being hugged by a million friendly little caterpillars. And Slowburn were playing that song, uh, that seven-minute... it's like... byewwww... nyewwwwww bwahhhhhhh... biddybiddybiddy bwahhhhhhh byenewwww... man, that is a good song. I think I have that album somewhere." 

When SPA Confidential reminded him that he was halfway through a story, he added: "I was just feeling it, man, feeling it, and then, like, this wave came over me and I thought, 'Oh, Cody, man, you are way too stoned for this,' because, like, the bartender was looking at me like he knew, you know? Plus, I was vomiting, like, everywhere."

Dominic Studly, the bartender who indeed did know that Merriweather was exceedingly bent and consequently had to mop up his spew trail, was philosophical on the matter.

"I don't really know what I expected, to be honest with you," he said. "The music was so bad that I almost threw up, and I was as sober as a judge."