Mos Def To Only Tour As A Hologram From Now On

Hip-hop fans are in a furore today after South Africa-based American rapper Mos Def, now known as Yasiin Bey, announced that he was not just cancelling his forthcoming US tour, but all future tours, instead relying on a holographic representation of himself to perform shows abroad.

After he was forced to pull the plug on his planned tour of his birth country due to “legal wrangles” that denied him entry, Mos Def has taken a page out of the Coachella and Billboard Music Awards playbooks, with a spokesman for Mos Def told SPA Confidential: “Since the United States has deemed Yasiin persona non grata, he has totally retreated into his shell.

“I didn't even know he had a shell.”

“The situation escalated because he caught the back end of the MJ holo-performance at the BMAs last week, which aired before a screening of Multiplicity, and you know how Yasiin loves Michael Keaton and Michael Jackson – he calls them 'The Michaels', you know,” the spokesman said.

“So, now, he wants to send holograms in his stead for all future concerts, and is even talking about using them to complete his daily errands, like finishing the grocery shopping or dropping his kids off at school.”

Mr Def's spokesman said that it took a while for his entourage to talk the rapper down from wanting to investigate his options for cloning himself, only settling on the slightly less excessive measure of the digital replacement to get around international travel loopholes after his manicurist reminded him how nauseated he gets on planes.

“It's a mess every single time,” Sh'dynasty Williams, who has been Mos Def's nail specialist for 19 years, told SPA Confidential.

“I was fixing his cuticles once on a transatlantic flight in 1999 when we hit some turbulence and suddenly, before I knew what was happening, I looked like the priest from The Exorcist after a healthy demonic torrent of projectile vomit.

“So this is good news for me, at least. ”