How Pharoahe Monch Went Deep In Researching His 'PTSD' Album

When you think of PTSD, what’s the first thing that springs to mind? Do you instantly re-imagine American war films? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a treatable anxiety disorder that affects around one million Australians a year. It needn’t have anything to do with war but simply, trauma. However the individual may perceive it.

pRhymetime is fortunate enough to play host to yet another international heavyweight this week; Pharoahe Monch offers me an (introductory) torch light into the dark world surrounding these issues and just how previous album PTSD came to be.

“Creatively, I was coming off of an album called WAR which was an acronym for ‘We Are Renegades’,” Monch says.

“It was my first independent album that did really well so I wanted to follow that up with a concept. The relationship between PTSD and war is obviously evident and I thought would be a great concept to follow the album. One of the things I wanted to do with it though was not just take the title, but really dig deep into a personal, introspective, Pharoahe insight you know? Usually you get these metaphoric songs… like I might be a bullet or an unborn baby or things of that nature that align with the theme but I wanted to do it from a social and political perspective. I wanted to do things that touched upon a really difficult time I was having emotionally. That wasn’t just in the moment… I had to actually dig back years… go back into these feelings. I had a difficult time with asthma and was on a cocktail of medications that threw me into a dark depression.”

I almost felt a little choked up hearing someone of such stature, someone that I’d idolised for years openly display their mere mortality. How does one comfortably portray such honesty and raw personal experience to an open forum? I suppose comfort doesn’t necessarily play a role when it comes to matters of the heart.

“It was difficult to revisit those feelings and emotions,” the 44-year-old hip hop veteran continues.

“To actually try to recapture how it felt and portray it honestly and accurately on the record… I would think about how slowly time moves when you’re severely depressed and I wanted to replicate that with some of the tempos, for example. Slower BPM’s than your usual hip hop albums that allow you to actually feel this dragging feeling.”

Sometimes I feel that when I think about a low, a trauma, a sickening sadness of my past, a pressure builds. The discomfort grinds at my chest and there’s a certain ‘flight mechanism’ that takes over rational thought. I can only imagine the inner monologue of an MC tackling the darker sides of self. Does the now-ink stained page offer relief or is the journalistic approach your own flight mechanism?

“Well look it was really therapeutic to have the conversation publicly,” Monch responds. “That was an outlet in itself. Contemplating the feelings and in a way, self examine as well as share… I knew that would be a positive thing because so many people could relate to the feelings I was expressing on the album.”

I’m sure you all know what it is, but for the sake of clarity and a basic understanding we can all begin from, the definition of addiction is “the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance or activity.” So how is it that a word loaded with stigma, conveys so little emotion or feeling? Monch unapologetically investigates drug abuse on PTSD and whether you think hip hop glorifies drug abuse or merely narrates an attitude and behaviour towards substances present in our daily lives (there’s a question for the dinner table), hip hop generally sticks to booze and weed. In several tracks on PTSD however, particularly Broken Again, we’re actually confronted with drug abuse in a light that’s brutally honest; it’s here, it’s real, it’s part of people’s daily lives and it cannot be ignored.

“Well, I think we gotta cut through what’s personal and what’s metaphoric,” Monch says.

“On the song Broken Again, it’s specifically about a relationship written through the eyes of a drug abuser. I wasn’t on heroin, but I did a lot of research into the amount of cc’s, the injection itself and what it would actually feel like. I tried to create a music that would evoke that emotion of love lost, as well as someone who’s addicted to this woman. It wasn’t a good outcome but taking the word ‘addiction’ and playing with it lyrically, I think that was healthy.”

In any city, there are always areas that see more drug abuse and crime than others. There are arguments around safe injecting rooms, decriminalisation, ethical responsibility in the way in which we treat known offenders (to name a few). However, I’m rarely hearing the argument of trying to understand why it’s an issue in the first place. Surely the focus can shift to understanding how to prevent drug abuse than trying to cure it? Obviously we’re not condoning any kind of drug abuse, but simply ignoring a problem seems to make matters worse (with real people, just like you or me, paying the ultimate price). Do you think there’s a way in which we can normalise this conversation so we can begin to action prevention?

“Of course, man,” Monch replies.

“The way that information is being disseminated now… through social media and the way we communicate even to each other. We have a really vast reach you know? These conversations need to be brought to the forefront and not swept under the rug. It’s so helpful to have this type of dialogue because when you keep it hidden… these people that are disenfranchised, or loners, or simply feel disconnected from a society or group, are going to turn to things for the wrong reason and that’s definitely a dead-end road. We need to have judgement-free open discussions so that people don’t have to find out through sheer heartache and loss. As an artist, I want to evoke emotion. Talking about things that are uncomfortable is just one way to do it. Stevie Wonder makes people feel joyous and happy for example… this particular album was taking a risk because people use music to escape reality. This kind of record brought real life challenges and hardships to their reality! You have to sit and listen to these tracks. You’re not dancing around doing the vacuuming at home. I knew it was important to me to make this kind of record because it’s not a topic that’s readily out there. It’s secretive you know?”

Later in the album track, DREAM (featuring Talib Kweli) almost lends itself to an affirmation. I wondered after Monch’s 25-plus years in the game if there was a point that no dream was too big, where all of a sudden you find that light at the end of the tunnel and actively alter behaviour to find happiness in ones self.

“Definitely!

“DREAM is specifically about that point of the journey. I knew if I was going to pull people down that low, with the title track and Broken Again, for example, I was responsible in letting them know exactly that; no dream is too big! I felt that song was the perfect way of saying it.”

Before Monch has to return to his busy touring schedule I ask him about the upcoming tour to New Zealand & Australia.

“This tour I guess is probably going to be some of the ‘best of,’ maybe with a few new ones,” he explains.

“The new music is really, really hard, rack, ‘70s, aggressive, vulgar, dark, demonic, heavy lyricism. I can find it hard to find those spaces to get those songs in so there’s a bit of accommodating to the particular audience in a way.”

I suppose from a point of privilege, the conversation around drug abuse and PTSD can absolutely be uncomfortable. I felt hesitant in writing about it at first because I somehow (before I read the definitions at the beginning of this piece) feel responsible in trying to resolve these feelings or problems within my direct environments. Alas, there is no one-size-fits-all. No one answer to solve woes I personally cannot comprehend. But it’s also not about that, it’s about de-stigmatising an issue that effects us all, communicating and listening to the people that need our help and hopefully preventing an illness that ruptures not just the individual but society as a whole.

After such an insightful conversation I wanted to finish on a brighter note; Tell me, when you drop Simon Says 18 years after it’s release are you sick of it, or does it still tear the fuckin’ roof off?

“I love that record bro,” Monch says.

“My manager was just saying after I played it in New York on the weekend, it was one of the performances of mine he’s enjoyed the most. He said it’s weird how I can play new records like old ones and old records like new ones. There’s space in between creating songs where I know there’s not a lot of work in proportion to how long I’ve been recording. But I really take my time to make songs that I’ll enjoy performing live. Simon Says is one of those records. I never shy away from doing it to the best of my ability. There was a baseball player, Joe Dimaggio, that said every time he took the field, there was someone there that was watching him play for the first time. So every time he gives it his all and that stuck to my ribs you know? It feels good every time man. It’s a privilege too, you know? I’m not going to fly across the fuckin’ world and play a shit show, ya know? What’s the fuckin’ point!?”

For a look at all of Monch's Aussie tour dates, click on theGuide.

If you need drug or alcohol support or information you can contact: Alcohol & Drug Foundation on 1300 85 85 84

Lifeline on 13 11 14 or www.reachout.com/addiction