Have you ever woken up and thought to yourself, man, I like my car, but life would be heaps better if my car was actually a piece of shit coupe with a tin of Emu Export sticky taped to the front and a paint red, yellow and white paint job?
Same.
So you can imagine our absolute joy when we stumbled across this absolute fucking bargain on Gumtree - a $1000, 1991 Suzuki Swift done up with the best bloody paint job money can buy. "Sharon", as the vehicle is loving known, is light with a well-lubricated undercarriage with no artificial extras, painted in Ferrari red with a racing stripe - the "perfect Barbigallo thoroughbred".
The impeccable spelling throughout this sales pitch goes hand in hand with constant referral of the car constantly in the female perjorative, and some weird tags: "Emu Emport. Suzuki Swift. Woman seeking man. 4x4 . Beer. Limousine. Party. Tinder date."
Check some images below, or get yourself a bloody bargain right HERE.
"Attention!! Put down the personal section of the newspaper as we have a real women to satisfy you. Our beloved Sharon is up for sale. She is light with a well lubricated undercarriage. No artificial extras, she's all real boys!
Every mans dream, she is a squealer and enjoys more than a couple of red cans.
Mirrors perfect for appreciating the look of lust on every women's face as you drive past them. Ferrari red plus a racing stripe, a perfect Barbigallo thoroughbred.
She's a 91 model, but who doesn't love an older women. Several owners, she's been around the block, from Exmouth to Esperance. She runs on determination and appreciation of the can. She packs the perfect beats for any thrill seeking twerker.
This Suzuki Swift is fully licensed and ready to ride. Pokemon Go friendly."
