Five Reasons You Should Be Reading 'Sex Criminals'

If I told you that there was a new TV show that centred on two young, attractive people who discover they share a superpower — namely, the ability to literally fuck time to a halt — and then use that faculty to rob banks, you would all be stepping over your own mothers to get to BitTorrent before I'd even finished this sentence.

I'm sorry to paint such a tantalising picture only to tell you that there is no such show in existence (at least yet) — but why the hell aren't you reading Sex Criminals?

Actually, let me rephrase: if you are reading Image Comics' Sex Criminals — written by Eisner Award-winning scribe (and man-crush) Matt Fraction, and illustrated by the equally wonderful Chip Zdarsky — then well done. You have cottoned on to what is easily one of the best books to have come out of the graphic-fiction medium in the past few years. I think I might even like you a little bit.

Keep that shit up.

However, if you aren't yet on board the brimping train — I'll explain later — then here are five super-great reasons that you should remedy that situation as quickly as you can, if, for whatever cause, the prospect of getting on my good side isn't enough to stir you into action.

the premise

We have established by now that, despite the pseudo-ambiguous title, Sex Criminals is not a story about sexual offenders. This is a very good thing, for obvious reasons. However, the book is also about a lot more than intimated above.

Not that.
Ehh — a little bit that. (Pic via Blogspot)

Yes, it is a tale of "woman meets man, they find out they can both freeze time when they orgasm — a talent each had assumed was unique to their person until their meeting — and thus get their Bonny and Clyde on, because why the hell wouldn't you?". And that already sensational framework is built upon brilliantly by not only the added element of altruism to their crime (the library at which Suzie works is under threat; the bank at which Jon works is... a bank) but the ensuing realisation that they're anything but alone in their ability, resulting in the pair tangling with an organisation known as the Sex Police, an antagonist called Kegelface, and, throughout it all, their own feelings for each other.

(Pic via Multiversity Comics)

It's a funny, filthy, sweet and smart book, and a chunk of that has to do with the way Fraction and Zdarsky present the series' robust sexy-time content, which leads me to...

the honesty

In the book's first issue, Suzie Down In The Quiet, we get an in-depth, never inappropriate, look at the first of the book's two protagonists — the eponymous Suzie — as she experiences her sexual awakening and comes to grips with the fact that, every time she gets off, she is left completely and utterly alone in the time-shift — The Quiet, as she calls it. Astoundingly, for a male writer (at least, according to the ladies I've spoken to about this book), it's one of the most insightful, accurate and candid fictive looks at a teen girl's coming of age and ensuing transition to fully fledged womanhood, preternaturally isolated though it may be, to hit the printed page.

Y'know — other than the "post-orgasm time-freeze" thing. (Pic via The Comics Journal)

Eventually, she hooks up with second protagonist Jon at a party, they bang, and they find themselves together in Cumworld, to borrow his moniker for the chronologically stationary after-sex realm (which he named for a porn shop he stole from not long after discovering his power, and his power's weakness — get a boner in Cumworld, and time restarts).

In issue #2 (Come, World), readers are treated to an equally honest and open look at Jon's journey from confused adolescent to slightly less confused adult male; we know it's honest, because Fraction has admitted that Jon's experiences, especially in the first three issues, are heavily drawn from his own unfortunate early history.

Uh, hopefully not too heavily. (Pic via ImageShack)

That takes some serious guts to own up to, but it's also kind of comforting — between Jon and Suzie's early discoveries and present relationship, Fraction and Zdarsky have crystallised so much of the awkwardness and anxiety and pressure and silliness and uninhibited joy of sex as to make them almost universally relatable, because who didn't have at least a handful of horrifying, messy, fleshy experiences the first few times they got it on?

Right?

...Right?

Oh God someone back me up here please

the creators

If there is a more perfect creative pairing on the planet than Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky, I am yet to find it. I don't even know if I want to find it. Everything these men have done together since the beginning of this book has made me think that they literally shit gold.

#swoon

Even if they weren't responsible for one of the most eagerly snapped-up books on the shelves at the moment (that picture is the very real cover for the fourth printing for Sex Criminals #1, and it didn't stop at four), they are simply divine humans. They go out of their way to make their fans feel appreciated, special, and — stay with me here — safe. A comic book about sex tends to foster correspondence about sex in kind, and although the monthly letters pages are generally filled to the brim with the duo's distinct brand of irreverent comedy, there are also occasional moments of earnest concern, genuine sweetness and unpretentious honesty. It's kind of a running theme with this book.

They pose for pics with their fans (seriously, they would have stood for a million recreations of that cover), write unique messages on fans' comics when they sign them, regularly engage with the community, and generally project as two of the most affable, approachable, progressively minded dudes getting about the biz right now.

Also, I will never not love Zdarsky's Facebook friendship with Applebee's. Never.

the fans

In the internet era, engaged fandoms are nothing new. But fandoms that bond sincerely and unexpectedly over a fledgling comic book and then name themselves after a fictional (uh, it is fictional, right?) sex act are a pretty rare, and very special, occurrence.

The "official" name for Sex Criminals fans is "brimpers". The community took their name from the comic's first issue, when young Suzie is still in thrall to her developing sexuality and superpower, and so turns to a more experienced girl at school for advice. Cue one of the series' most hilarious and eye-opening early scenes as Suzie learns about a frankly terrifying array of curiouser and curiouser sex stuff, including "brimping".

It's all downhill from here. (Pic via Pop Mythology)

Through the aforementioned letters page and online channels, a vibrant community of enthusiastic fans has sprung up over the series' 13-month, eight-issue run: There was an orchestrated "Brimpforum" — the first official meet-up of fans, with the creators — during the recent New York Comic-Con event; if Fraction and Zdarsky have recreated that fourth-printing cover a million times, then fans have turned in their versions tenfold; cosplay reigned at Halloween; and there's even a website with its own merch. Why would you not want to be a part of this lascivious, loony, loving family?

the extras

As if delivering the sharpest book on the market every damn month wasn't enough to ask of Fraction and Zdarsky, the dudes simply go all out in giving brimpers as much bang for their buck as they humanly can. One of the most beloved features of the series is the monthly "Sex Tips" that grace the letters page, which, on a scale of 1 to Cosmo, aren't actually that worrying, but, on a scale of 1 to normal people, kind of are. But they're hilarious, odd, unexpected, probably more revealing than the creators are letting on, and... they're now getting their own book.

Yes, thanks to the forthcoming publication of the 96-page Just The Tips (seriously), even if you have never read an issue of Sex Criminals in your life, you will soon be able to master such questionably erotic (erotically questionable?) positions as the Chocolate McKitten, the Dutch Microwave, and Reverse-Reverse Cowgirl. The whole time, you'll be treated to such sage advice as "Ladies — is your man 'ready' to 'go'? Grab it hard and sing all of 'Blue Christmas' into it. That'll chill him the fuck out" and "Fellas — are you 'ready' to 'go'? Well watch out, 'cause I heard your girl likes grabbing dicks and singing Christmas songs into 'em for some fucking reason."

Ninety. Six. Pages. (Pics via Comics Alliance)

Did I mention that the original printer of the book bailed on the project because they deemed it too filthy?

Because, yeah, that happened, too.

What's got a hundreds of dirty sex tips and no printer? JUST THE TIPS, freshly rejected by the press. never fear, a new printer is onboard
— Matt Fraction (@mattfraction) October 20, 2014