The Boxwars Invasion Has Happened: Here's What Went Down On The Cardboard Frontline

"Usually there's a lot of ventilation, but there's a fuckload of [cardboard] tanks there," Ross Koger - one of the Boxwars Supreme Overlords, the other being his brother Hoss - explains, gesturing towards the cardboard structures obstructing the doorway to their Fairfield warehouse.

When asked where Boxwars source the recycled cardboard from, Koger informs, "We get it donated from businesses, 'cause there's a lot of businesses that wanna get rid of it. For instance, this deck here is a recent addition from a wine warehouse that went under. They know about us, they get in contact with us and say, 'Hey, we've got a whole bunch of cardboard do you want it?' And we go, 'YES!'" he laughs.

The build for Boxwars' regular booking at Boogie festival is well underway. It was recently announced that the theme for 2018 is The Peoples Liberated Cardboard Liberation Weapons Parade Revolution and, as such, Boxwars Warriors will represent the Recycled People's Republic (RPR). With Ground Components on the stereo as this evening's chosen soundtrack, many volunteers hunch over cardboard creations - wielding box cutters and hot glue guns - as Koger designs at a computer. In the back corner of the space, the laser plotter precisely slices into massive sheets of cardboard. Koger is understandably protective of this plotter ("Just really watch your step, there's some important shit around there!") since the machine significantly cuts down production time. "I have really saved up from all the work that we've done with kid's workshops with this as the goal," Koger admits, gesturing towards this prized possession. "And now we've finally got it."

Moving outside and away from the steady hum of the plotter, Koger talks Boxwars commentator Dicko through the order of events as Catherine Harmsen takes notes on a piece of cardboard (obviously), clarifying, "So we've got five people in the planes and they're repeating through. We've got 30 troopers to begin with. We've got eight tanks..."

New Boxwars Warrior recruit Kristopher Baldwin is working quietly away on his personal weapon. He first discovered Boxwars at MOOMBA earlier this year and, having made cardboard creations of his own with his son for years, went up and introduced himself to Koger. Working alongside next generation Boxwars Warrior Liam McLachlan, Baldwin enthuses of his ginormous cardboard firearm of Commando proportions, "I'm gonna make it spin, I think. That'd be fun".

Later on in the night, potential musical selections for the upcoming battle are played and ideal marching tempos are discussed while we work. "We're not gonna get done for copyright if we use North Korean music," Koger points out. 

Pre-Boogie, an important note is posted to the Boxwars Warriors private Facebook page: "All warriors please dress in black only for Sat. No LOUD colours."

While waiting in the car queue to get into Boogie festival's site, The Farm, which is a ten-minute drive from Loch Village in Victoria, one Boxwars Warrior sporting cardboard headwear is approached by a family of fans who say they've been coming to Boogie specifically for Boxwars for many years. The mum says they live in rural Victoria, which makes it difficult for them to get into the city for other Boxwars events, adding that her son always makes his own cardboard costumes to wear while watching the battle.

At around 10.30am on Saturday, we spot Koger - with measuring tape in hand - taking measurements around the photography pit.

We're instructed to meet behind the red shed (next to the stage) at 2.30pm, where we will be briefed and suited-up before the scheduled battle at 4pm.

Inside the shed, there's cardboard armour and helmets everywhere as well as cardboard tanks, ICBMs and jets. So how many vehicles were needed to bring it all up to The Farm? "We had one truck, a 7.2-metre truck, and then everyone put a bit of stuff in their car and, yeah! That's how we got it here," Koger tells, before adding, "You can see how we kinda flat-packed everything."

Only a handful of those assembled haven't done Boxwars before and Koger reinforces, "There's no winners in Boxwars, there's only losers. We've all lost, we've already lost. So no one's trying to be the winner, but you are trying to get the admiration of the crowd."

Koger then tells us about a Boxwars "condition": "If you've got anything that a kid wants at the end of the battle - 'cause they all run in to grab stuff - the condition is you can't keep it, you have to give it. So if a kid wants anything - your suit, your wallet, anything, haha - they get the lot."

Now it's time to outline today's plan of attack. "So The Grand Leader's gonna be on stage with his First-Rate Generals that are gonna be surrounding him and they're there to inspect all of you as you parade past," Koger says. "You have to show them - not the crowd, the crowd's nothing: they're potato pickers; the generals are the leaders we're trying to impress and, of course, especially The Great Grand Dictator who you should not make eye contact with. You may weep in his presence, that's permitted. And, look, he's taller than everybody and that's all anybody needs to know, ok?" (We later discover The Great Grand Dictator is all of three years old.)

He grabs a stick. "There's gonna be a podium in front of the stage," Koger explains, drawing a 'map' in the dirt. "It's got wood inside it - don't go anywhere near that.

"The other thing is, this battle we're dedicating to a friend of ours who's just passed away. His name's Sion and we're gonna dedicate the battle in his honour, and we're gonna ask if you could all respectably - we're gonna wear a black band, if that's ok with everyone; I think it would be good to honour our dear friend, our fallen comrade."

We're then told we've got 30 minutes to "get [our] shit together". "If you want a specific part, come see me now," Koger adds, before remembering the GoPros. "If you spot one on the ground at the end of the battle, please get it before the crowd does." 

After we've all been glued into our armour, wrist and calf guards, selected rifles and placed helmets on heads, black electrical tape is affixed around biceps to commemorate Sion Turner (RIP). Then it's off down the hill in formation, four abreast and practising our marching ("left, right, left, right").

We peek through and notice Boogie crew holding up rope in a large half circle to cordon off the crowd, defining our battleground. Cardboard flags have been distributed through the crowd and are waved enthusiastically. Dicko can be heard providing hilarious commentary over the RPR parade soundtrack as "the official party" take the stage.

First air wing - go! Infantry - go! That's us! We march through the space. "Left, right, left, right." As the tanks roll through and the air wing takes another lap, we circle through the backstage area and await further instruction. The ICBMs are absolute showstoppers! As part of the coup, a handful of us run onto the field pointing guns at the crowd and I soon discover it's hella fun aiming a cardboard rifle at kids. Oops, am I bad? More troops enter, aiming their guns at us and then in comes our punk-track cue and it's on! The tanks last about a millisecond before they're broken to bits, cardboard flies everywhere and there's much running around. The air force returns to the battlefield, becoming instant targets. Adrenaline kicks in and we puff and pant. Is this what it feels like before you have a heart attack?  

After attacking one Warrior with a cardboard cylinder, he immediately takes his revenge, knocking me to the ground before 'impaling' me. Unsure whether to remain 'dead' or return to battle, I lie there for a few seconds before deciding to rise up - a recycled soldier.

Then in comes Baldwin with his massive weapon. And boy does it spin! He mows us all down before flinging a 'grenade'. Mate, this is exhausting! "I say, we call Boxwars Boogie 12!" Dicko shouts and it's all over as we chant, "R!P!R!" punctuating each letter by punching the air.  

Post-battle, we head back to the Boxwars campsite to debrief, tinnies are opened, bruises/battle scars are compared. We then huddle around a laptop to watch the drone footage. It's cardboard mayhem! Cardboard flies around in all directions - absolute chaos. Koger is chuffed. "Oh, guys!" he utters, proudly. It looks spectacular! 

And miraculously, we learn, an MIA GoPro was handed in!  

Then Koger recalls a crew that "used to be an arch enemy of Boxwars". "It was The Foam Warriors and they kept on sabotaging all of our events. But they've sort of snuck away into the background for the moment. We think they're biding their time until they come back."