Dr. Professor Neal Portenza

26 March 2014 | 8:50 am | Staff Writer

"I find six-seven hours of improvised freeform jazz really tends to calm me down."

Can you give us a tweet-length summary of your show? Hullo my #name is neal #portenza. #youonlyliveonce My show can't be @described in #140 characters because it's a bizarre journey through ti

What do you find funny? Anything that makes me laugh.

What do you find unfunny? Asbestos. Liberals. Labor. Craig McLachlan's horrible stand-up comedy. Parents who smack their kids in public and then light a cigarette or keep drinking from a bottle of liquor.

What's a ridiculous situation you've been in that you got a joke out of? Once my mum ran over my leg in her 1994 Ford Falcon Futura EA Sport model. I got this joke out of it: “Mum, stop being shit you idiot LOL!!!”

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Do you have a pre-show ritual? I play trumpet. I find six-seven hours of improvised freeform jazz really tends to calm me down. Then two hours of yoga and four hours of bicep curls.

Website link for more info? 1985.com.au