Album Review: Whoretopsy - 'Never Tear Us Apart'

Melbourne’s Whoretopsy are a death metal band. If the jagged band logo, their name full stop, or the lovely and artistic cover of their new album, ‘Never Tear Us Apart’, didn’t indicate that, then perhaps this whole metal-fandom thing just isn’t for you.

The band’s new album has every goddamn single hallmark of the extreme metal genre, and you know what, so did the new Thy Art Is Murder album. Perhaps the big difference in quality between the two is in the seriousness of these bands respective subject matter. An album like 'Holy War', one that is rooted within the destructive nature of religion and extremist groups, can be powerful in its message. A quirkier and conceptually ridiculous but nonetheless heavy album like this, that is situated far more on the comic side of things, does not, but hey, it has its merits for sure! Like a fictional televised show about paternity (‘Hiss Your Eggs Out’, one of the better songs on offer) to the lovely and heartwarming tale of a cheating wife whose husband uncovers her infidelity, via P.I.'s, and then proceeds to seek revenge against both his wife and her lover (the title track; powerful, powerful stuff really), this is the ball park range for this album’s themes.

For starters, and maybe this goes without saying, this record is fucking heavy. Secondly, in terms of sonics, it’s all very extreme, which is always a good thing for a band of this ilk. Heavy chugs, insanely brutal vocals, crazy blast beats and breakdowns - the whole shabang. One thing the band seems proud of is the Australian tone, as the vocals sometimes form into hardcore bogan shouts, which is as funny as it is cringeworthy. The band's music is generic, sure, but it's extreme metal in its best form. Thirdly, if you haven't guessed so far, everything is over the top, and the ridiculous and the brutal lyrics are very hit and miss (like the title track for instance), and while it's pretty safe to assume that these guys are not misogynists, the lyrics will definitely make or break this album for a lot of people. Well, for those who can decipher the growls.

However, the ridiculousness of the band does have its positives. First, are the song names, with such gems as ‘Gym Junkie’, ‘Thirty Shades Of White’, ‘Dendrophilia’ (which is a love and/or sexual attraction to trees), and the queen of them all; ‘Jackhammer Skullfuck’. And people are calling for Tyler, The Creator to be banned from Australia.

Now, that last one, is that not the most beautiful song names in the history of song names!? It sounds like the name of a 'close the curtains / watch behind locked doors' porno, or at the very least, the nickname of high-ranking adult actor, like say, Jonathan “Jackhammer Skullfuck” Magee.

Oh man, that train of thought got hijacked pretty bad, let's wrap this up.

The extreme side of Whoretopsy isn’t just restricted to their musical delivery, but to their lyrical and comic side as well. In this day and age, it’s good to see a metal band, a truly heavy band at that, with a bit of a funny bone. However, that funny bone breaks right through the album’s skin and obscenely protrudes out, and is really hard to ignore when looking at the full body of work on offer. Perhaps maybe that's why a band like King Parrot choose to keep the comedic and ludicrous elements just within their music videos and live shows, and keep it relatively out of their music.

1. Prelude To A Fist

2. Thirty Shades Of White

3. He Wouldn’t Hurt A Fly

4. Dendrophilia

5. Hiss Your Eggs Out

6.My Strange Addiction

7. Gym Junkie

8. Hair, Fat And Baby Wipes

9. Jackhammer Skullfuck

10. Never Tear Us Apart